After watching Snuff, but while pondering what I could possibly write about it, I happened to read an interview with (Current Doctor Who writer-in-chief) Stephen Moffat, in which he says that "All stories are endings; the rest of the story is just a way to arrive at the ending" - which is true, and sums up nicely why a bad ending can ruin an otherwise fine movie, and why a great ending can elevate an average film.
It's also never been more fitting as I come to review a movie that was sold entirely on it's final scene.
Showing posts with label Worse than 'Beast in Heat'. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Worse than 'Beast in Heat'. Show all posts
Saturday, 18 August 2012
Saturday, 31 March 2012
Human Experiments - Will's Review
With a title like that I expected this to either be, or attempt to be, incredibly nasty, Perhaps detailing atrocities similar to those committed at Unit 731, or at very least something akin to the Nasty Nazi movies we have seen so far.
And yet, once again, I am made to fondly look back on trash like The Beast In Heat as "the good old days"...
Our Heroin is accused of a mass-murder she didn't commit (and which a simple print-dusting and ballistics analysis would have cleared her of - she never touched the gun that was used in the killings) and sent to the world most lax prison.
We never see her trail, but she arrives at prison in a red dress, heeled shoes and a necklace - clothes clearly unsuitable for court or prisoner transport.
Once she arrives, her and the other new arrivals are showered and given their prison uniforms (fetching blue numbers). What follows is mostly like a very, very, dull version of Prisoner: Cell Block H, except with a secret lab in the basement.
And that's where things should get interesting...but don't.
The only "Human Experiment" on display, is one where women are reduced to a child-like state (we don't see how) in order that they can be 'raised' properly, thus re-rehabilitation. as best i can tell, the extent of this 'raising' is asking them to locate a cut-out of Mickey Mouse's head, among an assortment of geometric shapes, and occasionally being presented with a 'grown up' meal, to see how well they eat their mashed potatoes.
There are only 14 minuets left of the film before our heroin gets involved in (or even learns of) the experiments, and before that point we only see them twice; the rest of the film is literally nothing more than women doing prison stuff - Tending the garden, playing arcade games in the rec room for boxes of sweets (no cigarettes, although some of them do smoke), taking roll call... dull!
And either I blinked and missed him, or we didn't even get the strange dwarf dude promised on one of the video covers I found online:
Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.
And yet, once again, I am made to fondly look back on trash like The Beast In Heat as "the good old days"...
Our Heroin is accused of a mass-murder she didn't commit (and which a simple print-dusting and ballistics analysis would have cleared her of - she never touched the gun that was used in the killings) and sent to the world most lax prison.
We never see her trail, but she arrives at prison in a red dress, heeled shoes and a necklace - clothes clearly unsuitable for court or prisoner transport.
Once she arrives, her and the other new arrivals are showered and given their prison uniforms (fetching blue numbers). What follows is mostly like a very, very, dull version of Prisoner: Cell Block H, except with a secret lab in the basement.
And that's where things should get interesting...but don't.
The only "Human Experiment" on display, is one where women are reduced to a child-like state (we don't see how) in order that they can be 'raised' properly, thus re-rehabilitation. as best i can tell, the extent of this 'raising' is asking them to locate a cut-out of Mickey Mouse's head, among an assortment of geometric shapes, and occasionally being presented with a 'grown up' meal, to see how well they eat their mashed potatoes.
There are only 14 minuets left of the film before our heroin gets involved in (or even learns of) the experiments, and before that point we only see them twice; the rest of the film is literally nothing more than women doing prison stuff - Tending the garden, playing arcade games in the rec room for boxes of sweets (no cigarettes, although some of them do smoke), taking roll call... dull!
And either I blinked and missed him, or we didn't even get the strange dwarf dude promised on one of the video covers I found online:
Sadly, This appears to be a different movie.
Body Count: 4
Boob Count: 4
Animal Body Count: countless insect specimens are on display, and a few bugs probably get squished, but not close-up enough to confirm.
Most Memorable Death: Just Hangin' in her cell...Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.
Saturday, 25 February 2012
Frozen Scream - Wills Review
Back in week 27, I commented that Devil Hunter was "so dull that [I] had forgotten most of it before it finished".
This week, I found myself looking back on the excitement that was Devil Hunter. With that in mind, this is going to be short...
The plot seemed to be about 2 groups of scientists who were both after the same eternal life formula, and a woman who had somthing to do with it had her ex, a PI investigate... something.
The "acting" was woefully incompetent from the entire cast, and the direction flat. Also the voice-over (never a great device at the best of times) would frequently cut in over other conversations.
Avoid.
Body Count: 9
Boob Count: 1 (and i think it was an accident)
Most Memorable Death:My enthusiasm...
Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.
This week, I found myself looking back on the excitement that was Devil Hunter. With that in mind, this is going to be short...
The plot seemed to be about 2 groups of scientists who were both after the same eternal life formula, and a woman who had somthing to do with it had her ex, a PI investigate... something.
The "acting" was woefully incompetent from the entire cast, and the direction flat. Also the voice-over (never a great device at the best of times) would frequently cut in over other conversations.
Avoid.
Body Count: 9
Boob Count: 1 (and i think it was an accident)
Most Memorable Death:My enthusiasm...
Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.
Saturday, 18 February 2012
Forrest of Fear - Will's Review
Forrest of Fear
The plot outline I read for this while preparing the stats page was as follows:
“Zombies are created from hippies smoking weed that has been contaminated by pesticide. They then go on a flesh hunt.”
- From the usually excellent “Melon Farmers” Censorship watch page
That was a movie I wanted to see! Unfortunately, the real plot was
“Not-quite-zombies are created from not-really-hippies harvesting weed when they get hit by herbicide intended to kill the crop. They then shamble around killing the odd person, but only occasionally eating flesh.”
Which just isn’t as much fun! Zombie-hippies is hilarious, Killer-amateur-farmers? Not so much!
My first clue that these were not “hippies” (Although they are referred to as such once in the movie) was when they killed the 2 feds who wwre looking for them and their crop. What the hell kind of hippies shoot feds? That said, what the hell kind of feds wear blue jeans and flannel shirts!?
As you may have gathered from the above mentioned feds ‘uniforms’, low-rent isn’t the word, and lazy plotting shortly follows as another FBI agent elects to cut through the need for red-tape and approval, by paying a drunken crop duster to blanket the area with some experimental herbicide that is, for reasons we are not privy to, in a shed that the FBI agent has access to. No mention of the fact that this could kill off the entire forest is made, but he does decide that it doesn’t matter if it kills the “hippies”…
So a bunch of the dope-growers get dusted with white powder from the plain (the pilot somehow gets himself covered too) .
They then get sick and eventually start, as I said, shambling around killing the odd person, but only occasionally eating flesh.
I always think it’s a shame when a zombie movie fails to provide any enjoyment; its one of the few sub-genres where a semi-competent director can usually scrape together a film that, if not good, is at least entertaining, regardless of shonky acting, naff script and bad mak-up. Unfortunately, even against these odds, this movie managed to be dull as dishwater almost throughout.
Sadly, after a few weeks of watchable movies, this week was a return to dross.
Body Count: 21
Boob Count: 1 pair (just 2 mins in, as though to get them out of the way)
Animal Body Count: 0
Most Memorable Death: ???
Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.
Sunday, 4 December 2011
Don't Go Into The Woods - Will's review.
A whole bunch of people appear (I can't even use the word "introduced") and get killed, usually off camera, by an unseen assailent.
This is interspersed by the 4 worst actors in the world, who are on a hiking camping trip. The 2 men are a general prick, and an an insufferable know-all, and the 2 women have no personality at all, but one of them looks like a Ginger Justin Beiber.
Eventually they cross the killers path.
Having kept the killer of screen for almost half the movie, you'de hop for a good reveal - no such luck; its just a 'wild man' who likes to dress as a wookie with a weird bead/hair... THING on his face:
Really REALLY bad movie.
Oddly the entire thing sounds overdubbed, but it's in it's original language, so I can only guess that they didn't have a boom mic, and the on-camera mic didn't produce usable audio, but seriously the ENTIRE film sounds like a comedy-dub without jokes.
We interrupt this review for competition news: the fourth and final word you will need to enter to win a copy of "Don't look in the Basement" is "NASTY". Deatails on how to ender will appear on the VNAW feacebook page, and now, back to the review....
The only (and I do mean ONLY) 2 good things about the movie are presented bellow: the one decent gore shot, and the hilarious theme song that plays over the closing credits.
Oh, and at the end of the movie we see a baby (who the killer inexplicably took, rather than killing) hacking at the floor with a hatchet - I expect we are supposed to assume she will survive into adulthood and be the next killer... or something.
Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.
This is interspersed by the 4 worst actors in the world, who are on a hiking camping trip. The 2 men are a general prick, and an an insufferable know-all, and the 2 women have no personality at all, but one of them looks like a Ginger Justin Beiber.
Eventually they cross the killers path.
Having kept the killer of screen for almost half the movie, you'de hop for a good reveal - no such luck; its just a 'wild man' who likes to dress as a wookie with a weird bead/hair... THING on his face:
Really REALLY bad movie.
Oddly the entire thing sounds overdubbed, but it's in it's original language, so I can only guess that they didn't have a boom mic, and the on-camera mic didn't produce usable audio, but seriously the ENTIRE film sounds like a comedy-dub without jokes.
We interrupt this review for competition news: the fourth and final word you will need to enter to win a copy of "Don't look in the Basement" is "NASTY". Deatails on how to ender will appear on the VNAW feacebook page, and now, back to the review....
The only (and I do mean ONLY) 2 good things about the movie are presented bellow: the one decent gore shot, and the hilarious theme song that plays over the closing credits.
Oh, and at the end of the movie we see a baby (who the killer inexplicably took, rather than killing) hacking at the floor with a hatchet - I expect we are supposed to assume she will survive into adulthood and be the next killer... or something.
I don't know who "Angie Brown" is,
but I suspect she's blowing the credits guy...
Body Count: 15
Boob Count: 0
Animal Body Count: 0
Most Memorable Death: VW Window Face-plant.
Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.
Saturday, 19 November 2011
The Devil Hunter - Will's Review
As regular readers (humour me here) will know, I've stopped taking notes while watching the movies, which begs the question "how does one go about reviewing a film so dull that you had forgotten most of it before it finished?"
Well, I remember boobs, I remember that some of the boobs had a context (Natives, sacrifice, rape) and that some did not (walking around on a yatch).
I remember that some Hollywood type woman got kidnapped, and that her kidnappers decided the jungle was the best place to hide with her, and I remember not knowing why.
I remember that 2 raging idiots were sent to rescue her.
I remember a non-explicit, but still unnecessary and lingering rape scene, and a quazi-lesbian scene where 3 tribes women undress the unconscious (and now re-kidnapped by them) starlet, and anoint her body with oil (mostly I remember that the camera spent about 90 seconds on her muff).
I remember the worst voice acting (the movie is dubbed) I've ever encountered, and I remember that they managed to wedge 'nam in there somewhere.
Mostly I remember the Tribes "god" who rampages around the Jungle eating women's hearts. I remember that he has bloodshot pingpong balls for eyes and a face made of putty, I remember that his was buck naked, had big feet, was tall, black, and that he dispelled 3 penis-related stereotypes in one fell swoop.
What I don't remember seeing was any reason this piss-poor film was banned, nor any reason you should watch it.
Body Count: 8
Boob Count: 8 pairs (mostly tribeswomen)
Animal Body Count: 0
Most Memorable Death: Erm..... I think someone got their guts ripped out?
Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.
Well, I remember boobs, I remember that some of the boobs had a context (Natives, sacrifice, rape) and that some did not (walking around on a yatch).
I remember that some Hollywood type woman got kidnapped, and that her kidnappers decided the jungle was the best place to hide with her, and I remember not knowing why.
I remember that 2 raging idiots were sent to rescue her.
I remember a non-explicit, but still unnecessary and lingering rape scene, and a quazi-lesbian scene where 3 tribes women undress the unconscious (and now re-kidnapped by them) starlet, and anoint her body with oil (mostly I remember that the camera spent about 90 seconds on her muff).
I remember the worst voice acting (the movie is dubbed) I've ever encountered, and I remember that they managed to wedge 'nam in there somewhere.
Mostly I remember the Tribes "god" who rampages around the Jungle eating women's hearts. I remember that he has bloodshot pingpong balls for eyes and a face made of putty, I remember that his was buck naked, had big feet, was tall, black, and that he dispelled 3 penis-related stereotypes in one fell swoop.
What I don't remember seeing was any reason this piss-poor film was banned, nor any reason you should watch it.
Body Count: 8
Boob Count: 8 pairs (mostly tribeswomen)
Animal Body Count: 0
Most Memorable Death: Erm..... I think someone got their guts ripped out?
Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.
Saturday, 3 September 2011
Cannibal Terror - Will's Review
Awful, awful movie - probably a short review this week, as I object to spending too much more time on this hunk-o-crap!
Some no-goods are planning their next scam, the woman of the group (consisting 2 guys and herself) has a chance encounter with the daughter of a car magnate; a little girl who is horribly dubbed by an adult doing a hideous 'little girl' voice; just seconds later, have managed to kidnap her (although she doesn't seem to mind in the slightest) and decided that "the jungle" (a field with some trees) is the nest place to hide out.
The local Don hooks them up with a safe house, where one of them pervs on, and later rapes, their host's wife - Their host finds out and has a releaxed party where he and hius wife dance with the no-goods like nothing has happened, before inviting the rapist to go out hunting with him. Because the rapist is a moron (well, all rapists are morons - but this guy is dumb by their standards) he agrees to go.
The husband ties the rapist to the tree, and (rather than shooting his nuts off) whistles for the local cannibal tribe - who it seems are very well trained and come when called.
Meanwhile Manuella (our rape victim) tells... some guys (I have no idea who) that the kidnapped girl is with them, and her parents arive on a rescue mission - causing the remaining nogoodniks to flee into "canibal country" - little gril and all.
The bad guys get eaten, and the tribe give the girl back, saying that the kidnappers "got what they deserved"
The end.
I honestly believe that I just spent more time on the plot that the film-makers did!
The acting (both original and dubbing) in almost non-existent, The score is horrible, consisting mostly of a "La Bamba" rip-off played on a Casio keyboard, the effects are dreadful - at one point the "raw guts" being eaten by the tribe are clearly cooked chicken breast in tomato sauce, and the skulls that adorn the village are less convincing that the ones that adorn my dining room at Halloween (they are, literally, Halloween decoration skulls from a shop - they arn't even hollow, having just recesses for eye sockets).
And the tribe! What can I say about the tribe? they are a hodge-podge of different races and builds, sporting an array of (often 70's) haircuts, and their made-up ranges from those stripes that skiers in the 90's painted on thier face, to kids at a village fate, to colour-blind Kiss fans:
The best thing about this film was the animal body count which, after the previous 2 'propper' Cannibal movies (Holocaust, Ferox), came as a blessed relief.
Body Count: 6
Boob Count: 2 pairs
Animal Body Count: 0
Most Memorable Death: ... I honestly can't remember any specific death! - I think a guy got hit with an arrow?
Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.
Some no-goods are planning their next scam, the woman of the group (consisting 2 guys and herself) has a chance encounter with the daughter of a car magnate; a little girl who is horribly dubbed by an adult doing a hideous 'little girl' voice; just seconds later, have managed to kidnap her (although she doesn't seem to mind in the slightest) and decided that "the jungle" (a field with some trees) is the nest place to hide out.
The local Don hooks them up with a safe house, where one of them pervs on, and later rapes, their host's wife - Their host finds out and has a releaxed party where he and hius wife dance with the no-goods like nothing has happened, before inviting the rapist to go out hunting with him. Because the rapist is a moron (well, all rapists are morons - but this guy is dumb by their standards) he agrees to go.
The husband ties the rapist to the tree, and (rather than shooting his nuts off) whistles for the local cannibal tribe - who it seems are very well trained and come when called.
Meanwhile Manuella (our rape victim) tells... some guys (I have no idea who) that the kidnapped girl is with them, and her parents arive on a rescue mission - causing the remaining nogoodniks to flee into "canibal country" - little gril and all.
The bad guys get eaten, and the tribe give the girl back, saying that the kidnappers "got what they deserved"
The end.
I honestly believe that I just spent more time on the plot that the film-makers did!
The acting (both original and dubbing) in almost non-existent, The score is horrible, consisting mostly of a "La Bamba" rip-off played on a Casio keyboard, the effects are dreadful - at one point the "raw guts" being eaten by the tribe are clearly cooked chicken breast in tomato sauce, and the skulls that adorn the village are less convincing that the ones that adorn my dining room at Halloween (they are, literally, Halloween decoration skulls from a shop - they arn't even hollow, having just recesses for eye sockets).
And the tribe! What can I say about the tribe? they are a hodge-podge of different races and builds, sporting an array of (often 70's) haircuts, and their made-up ranges from those stripes that skiers in the 90's painted on thier face, to kids at a village fate, to colour-blind Kiss fans:
BONUS: Clip also contains one of those Halloween skulls I was talking about!
The best thing about this film was the animal body count which, after the previous 2 'propper' Cannibal movies (Holocaust, Ferox), came as a blessed relief.
Body Count: 6
Boob Count: 2 pairs
Animal Body Count: 0
Most Memorable Death: ... I honestly can't remember any specific death! - I think a guy got hit with an arrow?
Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.
Saturday, 9 July 2011
Blood Rites - Will's Review.
Wow.
Not a good "Wow", but "Wow" never the less...
I'm glad I decided against a star-rating system for my reviews here, because I would have given "The Beast In Heat" Zero, and now I'd be stuck as to how to grade this lower... In fact; I'm loath to give it a full review, as I resent putting more effort into the movie than the film-makers did!
In my notes I've written "WHEN THE FUCK IS THIS MOVIE SET?" it looks like a bad knockoff of a BBC costume drama, but the language used seems (at times at least) to be modern (by which I mean 70's).
The opening scene features a couple exploring a private (we are told, uninhabited) island; how they got there and why we do not know, but it isn't long before the guy decides to ditch his girlfreind where she is, and go explore an overgrown area - brilliently, 28 years before Scream's Randy burned the Cliché into the public conscious, ourdouchbag lead actor says "I'll be right back".
He isn't.
Instead he's murdered... I think.
Actually I'm sure he's murdered, but what, specifically, goes down remains a mystery - The camera seems to have been passed to an epileptic monkey who just ate a fitsfull of class B narcotics, and (dispite rewinding and re-watching TWICE) I have no idea how, or by who (Wikipedia says that it was Colin - the retarded servant we will meet later in the film, but I'm quite sure it wasn't); whoever it was, they kill his lady friend too, and the pair of them are never mentioned again.
We are then introduced to three sisters, and their respective husbands, each of which have received a letter fromGrandpa from 'The Texas Chain Saw Massacre' Lawyer Dobbs, the doddery old git in charge of their late Fathers' estate.
It seems Daddy dearest didn't want his will to be read until all 3 girls were "Married and settled down" (even the youngest has been married 3 years at this point), an that isn't even the oddest thing in the will; It turns out he hated their mother, who he paints as a total bitch, and wants their old family home to see "3 nights of marital bliss" and so his vast fortune isn't to be split until the couples have spent 3 nights in "sexual harmony" there, they are told that the boat (the house is on the island from the opening of the film) Will collect them in the morning. It is also through LawyerExposition Dobbs that we learn what little we know of the Girls' Father - his fortune came from a company he ran in South America (I forget doing what but, like much of the film, it's unimportant) and the Girls barely ever met him - he returned home just 5 times, and conceived the girls on 3 of those 5 visits.
Oh, and the House's Staff will be waiting for them... Yes, like just like "The Beyond" this recently-inherited (but stood empty for years) house comes with staff who have had very little to do for the last however many years - Unlike the beyond's layabout house-staff though, sibling trio Martha, Hatty, who look like nothing so much as pantomime "Ugly sisters", and their retarded hunchback brother Colin have at least been keeping the place clean and warm.
Predictably enough, once they arrive, people start dying - and they're all very casual about it; indeed, after the 3rd murder is descovered (One of the sisters' heads finds its way under a serving trivet at dinner time) the only remaining husband barks at his wife to "for god's sake stop crying".
The whole time we are clearly supposed to think that Colin is the murderer, but anyone who has ver seen a movie before will know that this isn't the case if only becauise of how hard the film tries to convince us it is!
Eventually film slowly (and clumsily) lurches to a ludicrous "twist" ending which is, in true slasher / who dunnit tradition, explained by the killer, shorty before they are dispatched, leaving no proof of what went on. Also, the killers plan makes no sense; it relies on them using a fact no-one on earth but themselves knows about in order to enlist themselves as sole hair to the house and estate!
One of the husbands has an obnoxious rich brother (who may me sexually attracted to him), another of the husbands tries to rape his wife, one of the sisters is said to be psychic, and there is a trunk in the attic which is somehow connected to the inheritance - like the opening murders all of these things are introduced, and never mentioned again!
I've had a quick peek a a draft of Lisa's review, and she's gone though the plot in some detail - I suggest you give it a look if you want to know more about this dreadful, dreadful movie! but for the love of all that's unholy, do not waste your time tracking down a copy and watching it, even if you want to watch all 72 'nasties' just skip this one and lie about it - I wish I had!
Body Count: 9
Animal Body Count: 1
Boob Count: 2 pairs
Most Memorable Death: Dinner is served!
Who do I write to for my time back?
Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the "Reader Reviews" post for this movie.
Not a good "Wow", but "Wow" never the less...
I'm glad I decided against a star-rating system for my reviews here, because I would have given "The Beast In Heat" Zero, and now I'd be stuck as to how to grade this lower... In fact; I'm loath to give it a full review, as I resent putting more effort into the movie than the film-makers did!
In my notes I've written "WHEN THE FUCK IS THIS MOVIE SET?" it looks like a bad knockoff of a BBC costume drama, but the language used seems (at times at least) to be modern (by which I mean 70's).
The opening scene features a couple exploring a private (we are told, uninhabited) island; how they got there and why we do not know, but it isn't long before the guy decides to ditch his girlfreind where she is, and go explore an overgrown area - brilliently, 28 years before Scream's Randy burned the Cliché into the public conscious, our
He isn't.
Instead he's murdered... I think.
Actually I'm sure he's murdered, but what, specifically, goes down remains a mystery - The camera seems to have been passed to an epileptic monkey who just ate a fitsfull of class B narcotics, and (dispite rewinding and re-watching TWICE) I have no idea how, or by who (Wikipedia says that it was Colin - the retarded servant we will meet later in the film, but I'm quite sure it wasn't); whoever it was, they kill his lady friend too, and the pair of them are never mentioned again.
We are then introduced to three sisters, and their respective husbands, each of which have received a letter from
"Now don't you cry. Grandpa is the best. This won't hurt a bit..."
Sorry, wrong move.
It seems Daddy dearest didn't want his will to be read until all 3 girls were "Married and settled down" (even the youngest has been married 3 years at this point), an that isn't even the oddest thing in the will; It turns out he hated their mother, who he paints as a total bitch, and wants their old family home to see "3 nights of marital bliss" and so his vast fortune isn't to be split until the couples have spent 3 nights in "sexual harmony" there, they are told that the boat (the house is on the island from the opening of the film) Will collect them in the morning. It is also through Lawyer
Oh, and the House's Staff will be waiting for them... Yes, like just like "The Beyond" this recently-inherited (but stood empty for years) house comes with staff who have had very little to do for the last however many years - Unlike the beyond's layabout house-staff though, sibling trio Martha, Hatty, who look like nothing so much as pantomime "Ugly sisters", and their retarded hunchback brother Colin have at least been keeping the place clean and warm.
Let's make her stay behind and clean, while we
go to the ball!
Predictably enough, once they arrive, people start dying - and they're all very casual about it; indeed, after the 3rd murder is descovered (One of the sisters' heads finds its way under a serving trivet at dinner time) the only remaining husband barks at his wife to "for god's sake stop crying".
The whole time we are clearly supposed to think that Colin is the murderer, but anyone who has ver seen a movie before will know that this isn't the case if only becauise of how hard the film tries to convince us it is!
Eventually film slowly (and clumsily) lurches to a ludicrous "twist" ending which is, in true slasher / who dunnit tradition, explained by the killer, shorty before they are dispatched, leaving no proof of what went on. Also, the killers plan makes no sense; it relies on them using a fact no-one on earth but themselves knows about in order to enlist themselves as sole hair to the house and estate!
One of the husbands has an obnoxious rich brother (who may me sexually attracted to him), another of the husbands tries to rape his wife, one of the sisters is said to be psychic, and there is a trunk in the attic which is somehow connected to the inheritance - like the opening murders all of these things are introduced, and never mentioned again!
I've had a quick peek a a draft of Lisa's review, and she's gone though the plot in some detail - I suggest you give it a look if you want to know more about this dreadful, dreadful movie! but for the love of all that's unholy, do not waste your time tracking down a copy and watching it, even if you want to watch all 72 'nasties' just skip this one and lie about it - I wish I had!
Body Count: 9
Animal Body Count: 1
Boob Count: 2 pairs
Most Memorable Death: Dinner is served!
Who do I write to for my time back?
Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the "Reader Reviews" post for this movie.
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