Reviews / Author Comments due: 02/11/2013
Sunday 27 October 2013
Saturday 26 October 2013
Best Worst Movie - Will's Review
SHOCKTOBER SPECIAL: BEST WORST MOVIES
In honour of Halloween, we're taking a special "Shocktober" break from the Time-Out 100 Best Horror films, to focus on some of the worst...
As with this weeks main movie, Troll 2, I first saw this back in 2010 for my own blog, but it's such a delight I was happy to use this opportunity to see it again.
The documentary is made by Michael Stephenson, the child 'star' of Troll 2 itself, and mostly follows George Hardy (Troll 2's father) as he (along with Stephenson) embark on a screening tour enjoying the, albeit dubious, fame that the movie has granted them.
The meet all of the major cast, and manage to convince most of them to come to a screening with them, even the movies sister, Connie Young, who is still an actress (but does not list Troll 2 on her CV).
Most of the cast are in a good place now; either getting on with their civilian lives, or as jobbing actors; sadly the same cannot be said of Margo Prey, Troll 2's on-screen mother. Prey's segment starts off hilarious, she still believes they made a great movie (comparing it unironically to Casablanca) and shed a tear remembering Stephenson playing a devastated child... pretty soon though it stop being funny, and starts being sad; she clearly isn't, mentally or emotionally, a well woman, convinced that she will one day return to acting, but deflecting any further questions with "it's complicated", and despite her dreams of returning to acting wants nothing more than "to move far far away, away from everyone". It's necessary that this footage was included, but it provides the movie with an unwelcome sadness and discomfort.
Aside from Margo, the only time we see thing go not-so-well for the former cast, is when they try working booths at Memorabilia, and at a Horror convention - the warm welcome they enjoy at Troll 2 events does not translate well to general fandom, most of whom haven't heard of the movie.
This is, though, one of those rare documentaries that will retroactively raise your enjoyment of, and appreciation for, the source material, and I'd go so far as to call it required viewing for any movie fan (even if you've never heard of Troll 2).
It makes me want to host a Troll 2 screening...
Troll 2 - Will's Review
I SHOCKTOBER SPECIAL: BEST WORST MOVIES
In honour of Halloween, we're taking a special "Shocktober" break from the Time-Out 100 Best Horror films, to focus on some of the worst...
Completely unrelated to Troll (there are no trolls in it; at script stage it was titled "Goblins") it's hard to understand why it was re-branded as a sequel - it's not like the origional was a runaway success, with a large sequel demand, but in any case, it was released stright to video as a sequel to an already obscure and pretty poor movie.
I first reviewed this movie for my solo October-Only blog, and at the time it just didn't 'click'.Watching the documentary (reviews on this very blog and my own) gave me a new appreciation for it, and I've watched it a few times since. Yesterday, when I watched it to write this, I was reminded that it just never stops amazing me.
It's rare that a movie so frequently maligned lives up to its hype, but in the case of Troll 2 it really is hard to overstate how bad it is. Many movies have a few bad actors, some movies have nothing but bad actors, some movies are badly written, many have bad effects, some movies are badly filmed, and some are badly directed. Troll 2 somehow fucks up EVERYTHING!... And it's wonderful for it!
The first time you see it it's hard to believe that this was ever intended to be a good movie, the costumes look like they came from a piss-poor costume shop (or were home made) the effects are laughable, the script appalling, the acting sub-dreamlanders, and the filming amateurish. It's 0% rating (15 reviews, all negative) on Rotten Tomatoes is well deserved. and yet, probably because it's completely lacking in cynicism, it manages to be the perfect storm of bad movies, crossing the line twice, into "so bad its awesome" territory.
A family go on a house-swap holiday to the town of Nilbog (read it backwards) where the residents, all secretly goblins) want to turn them into vegetation in order to eat them (goblins are vegetarians you see).
Apparently, the way to turn someone into vegetation is to get them to eat a special herbal mixture, which looks like green play-doh. The goblins aren't very good at hiding this green paste: using it as icing on cakes, filling in sandwiches, and smearing it on corn-on-the-cob. Oddly, no-one seems to notice, and the family are grateful for the banquets.
And so, it's up to the son of the family, assisted by the ghost of his grandpa, to make sure everyone gets out of Nilbog alive.
I can't do this movie justice in words - I can neither adequately explain it's ineptness, not tell you how it remains watchable in spite.
Be warned though, Troll 2 is a mind virus; once you have seen it, you'll want others to see it too... The truth is that the whole reason I scheduled bad movies these last four weeks was to make Lisa watch this (sorry Lisa).
I don't know what else to say... If you like bad movies AT ALL, get yourself a copy, get your friends around, make some (green) snacks, crack open some beers, and get ready to have a riot!
Troll 2 - Lisa's Review
SHOCKTOBER SPECIAL: BEST WORST MOVIES
In honour of Halloween, we're taking a special "Shocktober" break from the Time-Out 100 Best Horror films, to focus on some of the worst...
Okaaaaaaaaaay. Where to start? When Will wanted to choose a bunch of bad movies for Shocktober, he was successful in part, with 1 weeks movie being quite good, but THIS week? Kudos to Will for this little gem.
Gawd, my mind is still feeling a bit mashed and confused. I do wish I had watched the documentary about the movie before the actual movie itself, but I did it the other way around. Of course I get the whole 'it's so bad, it's good' thing, but I think you need to be in a particular mood to enjoy this kind of movie. If I were with a bunch of friends and had a few bevvies, I think I would have enjoyed it much more. Thing is, when you can't pick a film to watch and review according on your mood, inevitably you will watch movies that your current mood was not right for.
Sooooo, I could sit and type a scene-by-scene account of this movie. Alternatively, I could tell you this movie is about a bunch of midgets dressed in burlap sacks with giant rubber hands and masks chasing after a family in an attempt to change them into vegetable goo so they could eat them. I shit you not, that's pretty much it in a nutshell. Vegetarian goblins/trolls who inhabit a town called Nilbog (see what they did there! Clever stuff!) and work on changing a family (who are on holiday on a house swap with a family who live in a farm in Nilbog) from humans into plants, so they can have dinner. We see these Metamorphosis in various forms complete with lots of green jelly, sticks stuck onto fingers and what looks like washing up liquid dripping down their faces.
The basic premise surrounds a young boy who is visited by his dead grandfather and told stories about goblins who turn a young man into a green gooey plant to be eaten. The boys family then decide to go on holiday, whereby they swap homes with an unknown family in a small country town called Nilbog. The boys sister has a boyfriend who has a bunch of geeky friends who come along in their own mobile home for the ride to add some cannon fodder to the mix. Basically what transpires is various ridiculous transformations and deaths, various inexplicable scenes (as no-one would do that!), constant contingency problems, the worst acting you'll ever see anywhere and a complete and utter mess of a plot.
The Goblin costumes are laughable, awful!! You could get better costumes in your local fancy dress store. Given this movie wasn't made to be amusing, I am lost for words. I struggled to chose the worst actor in the movie as they are ALL so bad. The women seem to win the prize though with the mother and daughter in the family being frighteningly bad.
Anyways, the ending is just as bad as the start and the middle, I wasn't in the kind of mood to waste valuable downtime on such a poor movie, so the humor of the sheer awfulness of this movie was lost on me. However I know there will be people who love this kind of thing (as is attested by the documentary), but it just wasn't for me. I won't stick an avoid on this one is purely a matter of taste.
All I can say is... thank gawd Shocktober is at an end.
Best Worst Movie - Lisa's Review
SHOCKTOBER SPECIAL: BEST WORST MOVIES
In honour of Halloween, we're taking a special "Shocktober" break from the Time-Out 100 Best Horror films, to focus on some of the worst...
So we've already reviewed Troll 2. This is a documentary about the movie and its 'stars'. Although I didn't enjoy Troll 2 at all, I found this documentary much more palatable. It was kind of fun to see the cult following the movie has amongst a certain genre of movie fan.
Upon watching this, it made me much more forgiving of the movie and the actors performances. We find out that the actors didn't even have access to the full script, so had no idea what to expect until they saw the movie on VHS or HBO. They also had to Even Michael Stephenson who plays the young boy Joshua in the movie realised how awful this movie is when he first saw it. He received the movie as a Christmas present and watched it eagerly with his family, only to be flabbergasted (and not in a good way) at what he was part of.
I liked to see how Michael Stephenson and George Hardy (who plays the father Michael) especially embrace the utter suckdom of the movie. They enjoy the cult status it has received. We follow them as the movie is shown to audiences all over America and attended both by movie virgins and die-hard fans resplendent in various costumes and customised shirts. The fans were awestruck to see the stars of the movie and have them playing out various humorous lines from the movie. They played along and provided laughs aplenty for the crowds. It was nice to see the lack of seriousness and the ability to laugh at the movie and their performances along with everyone else.
Watching the documentary gives you more of an idea as to just why the movie is as bad as it is. The Italian Director Claudio Fragasso had very specific instructions that he insisted the actors followed, even when he dictated what he felt was the way American teenagers spoke. The actors did occasionally question his lines or direction and were told in no uncertain terms to follow his direction, hence awful quotes aplenty.
Even though Michael and George were able to see the movie for what it is and go with it, it was clear that Claudio Fragasso and Margo Prey (who plays the mother, Diana) took their work very seriously and were not able to laugh along. Margo seems to not altogether be the full shilling these days and just wanted to be left alone when enthusiasts of the movie kept showing up at her door.
Nearing the end of the movie we see Michael and George attending a movie convention and receiving pretty much no interest in the movie at all. For the first time we see the crushing disappointment on Georges face, the ever optimist and enthusiastic performer for the fans. Suddenly he's had enough of Troll 2. It's a good job he has his own successful dental practice.
This is definately interesting and I would strongly suggest people watch this before watching Troll 2 and not after. I think I would have been much more forgiving of the movie had I watched the documentary beforehand.
Neither recommending or advising to avoid as watching this documentary totally depends on whether you intend to watch Troll 2. If you do.... watch this first.
Sunday 20 October 2013
WEEK 127b - Best Worst Movie: The Troll 2 Documentary (2009)
SHOCKTOBER SPECIAL: BEST WORST MOVIES
In honour of Halloween, we're taking a special "Shocktober" break from the Time-Out 100 Best Horror films, to focus on some of the worst...
EXTRA CREDIT
(Optional Movie)
Reviews / Author Comments due: 26/10/2013
Week 127 - Troll 2 (1990)
SHOCKTOBER SPECIAL: BEST WORST MOVIES
In honour of Halloween, we're taking a special "Shocktober" break from the Time-Out 100 Best Horror films, to focus on some of the worst...
Reviews / Author Comments due: 26/10/2013
Saturday 19 October 2013
Street Trash - Will's Review
SHOCKTOBER SPECIAL: BEST WORST MOVIES
In honour of Halloween, we're taking a special "Shocktober" break from the Time-Out 100 Best Horror films, to focus on some of the worst...
One problem... Anyone who drinks the Viper, melts into neon coloured slime.
2 weeks ago, when I reviewed Night of the Lepus, I mentioned the problem with movies specifically made for the "so bad it's good" market (i.e. They just end up bad). This is exactly the type of movie I was talking about.
It has some nice set pieces, the hobo melting into the toilet for one, but it lacks any story elements to bring it together.
When the first bum starts to liquefy, I thought this was going to turn into a monster movie, with the viper creating monsters... But nope, he just melts.
The whole film is just a collection of moments, bum buys drink, bum either drinks drink, has drink stolen by another bum, or tricks another bum into drinking it, bum melts, lather, rince, replete.
In top of that, the acting is atrocious across the bird; Stir in genital mutilation, necrophillia, sexual assault, and attempted rape (all played for laughs) and the whole thing is just a mess.
There's no attempt to explain where the viper came from, why it melts people... Nothing.
The closest thing this movie has to a plot, is some in-fighting amongst the homeless, who live in a scrap-yard, and have a "king" of sorts that they all live in fear of - a crazy nam-vet with a knife carved from a human thigh-bone.
That said, the set pieces were cool enough that is actually like to see this one re-made; with a back story, and some kind of actual plot, a body-horror movie about booze that reduces people into a day-glo puddle could be a fun movie.
As it stands though, I'd give this one a wide birth.
Street Trash - Lisa's Review
SHOCKTOBER SPECIAL: BEST WORST MOVIES
In honour of Halloween, we're taking a special "Shocktober" break from the Time-Out 100 Best Horror films, to focus on some of the worst...
*** SPOILERS ***
So after the surprising success that was last weeks Snoop Dog movie, I had higher than normal hopes about this weeks movie. So we have a return to normal form this week with a baaaaaad movie. I suspect Will will thoroughly enjoy this one, but it really wasn't my cup of tea at all.
The basic premise (although there are a lot of other bits going on) surrounds a 60 year old bottle of alcohol called Tenafly Viper. This is apparently not 60 year old good, but 60 year old out of date. A shop owner finds it at the back of his shop and decides to sell it for a dollar a bottle.
We introduce the horror element here, in that anyone who drinks the 'Viper' melts or explodes in the most curious of ways.
This reminded me of the plasticine short movies that guy makes on Youtube... you know the ones "Evil Dead in 60 seconds". If you haven't seen them, sort that out, they are most amusing. Unfortunately what works in a 60 second segment, doesn't work in a movie in my opinion. When different homeless people are melting (the bottles are purchased by homeless guys) they do so in various rainbow colours.. purples, greens, blues, yellows. They just seem to disintegrate and assume a plasticine-like consistency, spewing what looked like childrens posters paints. We also find out that if any of these colourful melty bits fall onto anyone else (should they, lets say, walk underneath a melting person) they start to burn up.
Although there were other elements and a plethera of characters running throughout the movie, it seemed to me, just like one long, poorly acted excuse for exhibiting their special effects ideas.
I won't say this is the worst movie I've ever seen and I'm sure it will appeal to a lot of people, but it just didn't have anything to pull me in.
I will leave you with one positive. There is an awesome decapitation scene by way of a flying gas cannister. This is incredibly well done and the continued eye movements of the severed head is awesome.
I won't stick an avoid on this one, but it certainly won't get a recommended from me. For an acquired taste I feel.
Sunday 13 October 2013
WEEK 126 - Street Trash (1997)
SHOCKTOBER SPECIAL: BEST WORST MOVIES
In honour of Halloween, we're taking a special "Shocktober" break from the Time-Out 100 Best Horror films, to focus on some of the worst...
Reviews / Author Comments due: 19/10/2013
Saturday 12 October 2013
Snoop Dogg's Hood of Horror - Will's Review
SHOCKTOBER SPECIAL: BEST WORST MOVIES
In honour of Halloween, we're taking a special "Shocktober" break from the Time-Out 100 Best Horror films, to focus on some of the worst...
Snoop Doggs Hood Of Horror - Lisa's Review
SHOCKTOBER SPECIAL: BEST WORST MOVIES
In honour of Halloween, we're taking a special "Shocktober" break from the Time-Out 100 Best Horror films, to focus on some of the worst...
*** SPOILERS ***
The idea of the movies to review this month was the awful ones. Is it terribly wrong to say I really enjoyed this weeks? I put it on expecting very little, as neither a fan of Snoop Dogg or his style of music (which the movie is littered with). I have to say though, I was pleasantly surprised and liked this one.
I think the reason I liked it was the fact it was made up of 3 short stories and some rather awesome animation. Had it been any of the 3 stories for the entire hour and a half, it wouldn't have worked at all, but with the half hour long segments, the animated introduction and the narration by Snoop Dogg, I thought everything tied together nicely. It reminded me a lot of an old series I used to love as a kid 'Tales from The Crypt'.
Sunday 6 October 2013
Week 125 - Snoop Dogg's Hood of Horror (2006)
SHOCKTOBER SPECIAL: BEST WORST MOVIES
In honour of Halloween, we're taking a special "Shocktober" break from the Time-Out 100 Best Horror films, to focus on some of the worst...
Reviews / Author Comments due: 12/10/2013
Saturday 5 October 2013
Night of the Lepus - Lisa's Review
SHOCKTOBER SPECIAL: BEST WORST MOVIES
In honour of Halloween, we're taking a special "Shocktober" break from the Time-Out 100 Best Horror films, to focus on some of the worst...
Sooooo, Killer Bunnies, what can I say? Yes, seriously! I spent most of the movie with those few words going around and around in my head.
With an idea of the premise and as I started to watch this movie, I was sure it had to be a comedy, tongue-in-cheek at least, but would you believe, they were serious about the killer bunnies.
I have to be honest before I give you an opinion, as I write this, I am very hungry and on an enforced diet, so grouchiness may affect the humour segment of my brain. That said, the movie did make the corners of my mouth twitch a few times (and that is no mean feat!).
Sooooo, we have a scientist with this wife and impossibly annoying daughter (who has black eyebrows and white/blonde hair... what's up with that?) who are attempting to lessen the rabbit population. How do they do this? By injecting them with HORMONES to make them infertile??? Hmmmm, potential problem there guys! Anyways, a test rabbit is injected with a serum and coincidentally from a lab full of the damn things, this is daughter-dearests favourite. She swaps the injected rabbit with another bunny and it is released back to the population with dire consequences.
The consequences are giant, killer rabbits. Yup, I shit you not! We are also intended to take this seriously! Would you believe they managed to convince Janet Leigh to star in the movie?
Sooo, what more can I say really... the 'kill' scenes were ridiculous. The rabbits at no point looked menacing, frightening or even particularly hungry. They were all cute twitchy noses and floppy ears... allbeit giant ones.Did they attempt the man-in-a-bunny-suit for the effects? Did they hell... instead we have real, cute, fluffy bunnies hopping through tiny sets. We never see a bunny and person in the same scene and what is supposed to be terrifying before any person is jumped upon by the giant beasts, in in actual fact most amusing (at least it would have been had I not been imagining rabbit steaks and tomato sauce).
I felt myself feel a little sorry for the poor bunnies with matted fur full of face blood.... I found myself wondering did it taste nice for the bunnies as it was smeared around their mushes.
Another mildly amusing scene in the movie occurs when a policeman makes an announcement on a speaker at an drive-in movie theater breaking the news of killer rabbits. He advises drivers to wind up their windows and drive away. Was a titter raised? Was there a heckle to be heard? Nope... cue every motorists lights coming on at exactly the same time and everyone driving away.
Of course we have the inevitable 'rabbits running amock' (or rampant rabbits if you will.. mwahahaha) scene leading up to the mass execution by the coppers. Did we feel sorry for the rabbits? Nope... Did we fear the rabbits? Nope... Were we amused by the rabbits? Somewhat...
In conclusion, had I been in a slightly more receptive mood, had a wee drinkie, a big fat pizza and the company of some like-minded mates, I would probably have laughed my arse off at this. Sooooo, with that said, if you want a 'so bad its good' movie to watch for a laugh with your mates, you could do much, much worse than this. As it's not particularly my thing, I'm afraid no 'recommended' from me.
Night of the Lepus - Will's Review
SHOCKTOBER SPECIAL: BEST WORST MOVIES
In honour of Halloween, we're taking a special "Shocktober" break from the Time-Out 100 Best Horror films, to focus on some of the worst...
You'd think a movie about giant killer rabbits had to be a spoof, but you'd be wrong; the filmmakers have honestly made every attempt to make this a genuinely good / frightening monster movie... and that's exactly why it works!
Even within the movie, no-one seems to pause and go "Rabbits?.. Really?"; it's just taken at face value that this is a thing now... at one point a police car pulls into a drive in movie theater and evacuates the place, telling the patrons that "there's a herd of killer rabbits headed this way" (not even mentioning that they are giant killer rabbits) and everyone just calmly starts their engines, and do as the cop says!
So-Bad-It's-Good movies that were intentionally made as So-Bad-It's-Good movies rarely work; the true masterpieces of bad cinema are almost always serious films that were either incompetently made, or just so fucking ludicrous that they had no hope in hell of being taken seriously... This falls into the latter camp
While I'm sure a bunny the size of a car, lolloping towards you with blood on its mouth would be terrifying in real life, on film its just too goofy for words!
That a farmer would have access to experimental biologist to solve a simple rabbit infestation, that those biologists would be using an "experimental serum" sent to them by the department of health, that the department of health would somehow come to possess a serum that they have literally no idea what it does, that said serum would not only cause a rabbit to grow to several feet tall in a matter of hours, and that the gigantism would be contagious; these things alone make the movie laughable beyond words, that fact that a giant rabbit isn't remotely scary is just the icing on the cake!
The rabbits seem to change size a lot, depending on what else is in shot with them, and they are very rarely seen in the same shot as a human... I can understand why, it's because CGI wasn't invented, and stop motion / guy in a suit would have looked awful; but at the same time the way they have worked around that (Actors looking up and screaming, cut to: shot of a rabbit in extreme close-up) often makes it look like someone has edited bunnies into another movie for shits and giggles.
The actors do a remarkably good job; Leigh especially is a trooper, saying the line "It's okay now, he's gone... the rabbit is gone" to a hysterical adult without even the faintest hint of a smile.
Effects wise, we're talking red paint for blood, but I must admit that some of the miniature sets were astounding (even if they couldn't just pick a scale and stick to it).
I love this movie... I'm sure that the film-makers would be disgusted to hear the ways in which I love this movie (although surely, they've heard it enough times by now), but I loved it.
I'm using the "So Bad It's Good" tag here, and it's never been truer.
This review can also be found at Will's solo blog, which runs every October.
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