After the Naziploitation movies from the DPP list, I think we were both ready to turn our back on the genre forever; however, a reader on our FaceBook group requested / recommended this one, and so here we are.
I will say, right off the bat, that this is without question the best (or least-bad) Nazi movie we have watched; I'd even go as far as to say I enjoyed this one.
Yes, Big chunks of it were played for titillation (that's half of the appeal if Exploitation movies are your thing after all) but the very worst of the abuse, not so much; When a POW gets raped, we usually see the horror on her face, rather than the pleasure on the face of her attacker (or worse; groin and boob close-ups), and this one actually had a plot!
The usual "Nazis doing experiments" story (which this time dealt mostly with Ilsa's desire to prove that women can tolerate pain better than men) is present and correct, but this time around we have a properly realised escape sub-plot. Admittedly, the escape plan falls apart at the end when most of the prisoners decide to stay and take revenge, rather than actually escape, but points for effort.
I'm not going to actively recommend this one, but I believe its the first movie of its type that I'm not branding "Avoid"
Saturday, 29 June 2013
Ilsa She Wolf of the SS - Lisa's Review
* Spoilers *
When completing the 'Video Nasty' challenge, we watched quite a few movies like this. It's a case of, once you've seen one you've seen them all. I struggle with one aspect of this one though. Who the hell was it made with in mind as the audience?
I would imagine the usual audience for sexploitation movies would be men (forgive me if you find that sexist, but I doubt many women get their jollys from this kind of thing and they're hardly made with drama or storyline in mind). This movie is full of plenty of naked, beautiful young women, mostly of the large breasted variety, but with the premise of the movie in mind, I would imagine men wouldn't particularly enjoy the subject of the experiments which Ilsa is setting out to prove. She intends to prove that woman can take more pain than men, to enable the government to take another look at laws preventing women to fight in the war alongside men, (you would think not being allowed to fight in a war would be seen as a good thing, but hey ho).
So, what can I tell you? Lots of large breasted, naked woman being subjected to humiliation, horrible torture and rape, all to the glee of Ilsa and her equally large breasted, low-necklined officers. The female officers also seem to like to dole out punishment by way of whips with no tops on... funny that... Tortures shown include a pressure chamber, a bath of water at almost 89 degrees celsius, flogging, wounds being inflicted and filled with disease ridden maggot or gangrene, an electrified vibrator, insertion of horrid objects... the list could go on. I would add, most torture shown is being carried out on always completely naked women. There is also a horrid scene of a young woman standing on a block of ice with a noose around her neck. Obviously as the ice melts she is slowly hung. This is the centrepiece on the table while a superior officer who has been sent to visit is having dinner with Ilsa and the other officers. Everyone loves it and look on in awe as the young woman suffers.
In one scene we do get to 'hear' a rather horrid castration being carried out on an unfortunate male prisoner who was unable to satisfy Ilsa sexually. She continually rapes male prisoners in the quest for a man who can satisfy her. What I can't understand about this, is how these men who she is subjecting to rape, can achieve an erection and come at all?? Surely it's not a pleasurable experience?
That aside, we don't see much else of men being subjected to anything. One is being flogged alongside a woman, but apart from the opening scene showing them side by side, the rest of the scene is concentrated on the naked women and the topless officer doing the flogging.
One man who does feature quite strongly in the movie is an american prisoner who finds Ilsa's achilles heel when he is chosen as one of her companions. She learns that he can control when he 'finishes'. As her insatiable appetite has never been satisfied, this evil bitch is suddenly under some kind of spell and from then on seems to follow his every command.
This ability is used to manipulate Ilsa into agreeing to be tied to bed in the finale of the movie. This enables the prisoners to get together and decide, not to escape like you would imagine, but instead to take revenge on the staff of the camp. The american and his girlfriend (who is also a prisoner), want to run, but the others set to killing as many staff as they can. In a very hard to believe scene, a woman that was tortured to near death and is burnt all over turns up in the room to exact her revenge on Ilsa.
We have a twist however!! A superior that was sent into the camp (who it turns out has a penchant for watersports and has Ilsa pee on him) was actually sent there to destroy it before the allies found it, so all of the remaining prisoners are actually shot dead and the camp is burnt down. Fun Fact: this camp was actually the same set as the one used for Hogans Heros and they were allowed to use it as they would have to pull it all down after.
The final scene is a soldier telling his superior that everyone is dead and all proof of the camp will be removed so the allies will never know it is there, however, we see the american and his girlfriend standing on a hill in the distance. Dah Dah Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!
I'm not quite sure what I thought about the movie. I honestly don't think it was bad enough to tell you to avoid, but I certainly wouldn't recommend it as I don't find watched naked women being tortured for an hour and a half that entertaining. If you like this kind of movie, you'll no doubt like this one.
When completing the 'Video Nasty' challenge, we watched quite a few movies like this. It's a case of, once you've seen one you've seen them all. I struggle with one aspect of this one though. Who the hell was it made with in mind as the audience?
I would imagine the usual audience for sexploitation movies would be men (forgive me if you find that sexist, but I doubt many women get their jollys from this kind of thing and they're hardly made with drama or storyline in mind). This movie is full of plenty of naked, beautiful young women, mostly of the large breasted variety, but with the premise of the movie in mind, I would imagine men wouldn't particularly enjoy the subject of the experiments which Ilsa is setting out to prove. She intends to prove that woman can take more pain than men, to enable the government to take another look at laws preventing women to fight in the war alongside men, (you would think not being allowed to fight in a war would be seen as a good thing, but hey ho).
So, what can I tell you? Lots of large breasted, naked woman being subjected to humiliation, horrible torture and rape, all to the glee of Ilsa and her equally large breasted, low-necklined officers. The female officers also seem to like to dole out punishment by way of whips with no tops on... funny that... Tortures shown include a pressure chamber, a bath of water at almost 89 degrees celsius, flogging, wounds being inflicted and filled with disease ridden maggot or gangrene, an electrified vibrator, insertion of horrid objects... the list could go on. I would add, most torture shown is being carried out on always completely naked women. There is also a horrid scene of a young woman standing on a block of ice with a noose around her neck. Obviously as the ice melts she is slowly hung. This is the centrepiece on the table while a superior officer who has been sent to visit is having dinner with Ilsa and the other officers. Everyone loves it and look on in awe as the young woman suffers.
In one scene we do get to 'hear' a rather horrid castration being carried out on an unfortunate male prisoner who was unable to satisfy Ilsa sexually. She continually rapes male prisoners in the quest for a man who can satisfy her. What I can't understand about this, is how these men who she is subjecting to rape, can achieve an erection and come at all?? Surely it's not a pleasurable experience?
That aside, we don't see much else of men being subjected to anything. One is being flogged alongside a woman, but apart from the opening scene showing them side by side, the rest of the scene is concentrated on the naked women and the topless officer doing the flogging.
One man who does feature quite strongly in the movie is an american prisoner who finds Ilsa's achilles heel when he is chosen as one of her companions. She learns that he can control when he 'finishes'. As her insatiable appetite has never been satisfied, this evil bitch is suddenly under some kind of spell and from then on seems to follow his every command.
This ability is used to manipulate Ilsa into agreeing to be tied to bed in the finale of the movie. This enables the prisoners to get together and decide, not to escape like you would imagine, but instead to take revenge on the staff of the camp. The american and his girlfriend (who is also a prisoner), want to run, but the others set to killing as many staff as they can. In a very hard to believe scene, a woman that was tortured to near death and is burnt all over turns up in the room to exact her revenge on Ilsa.
We have a twist however!! A superior that was sent into the camp (who it turns out has a penchant for watersports and has Ilsa pee on him) was actually sent there to destroy it before the allies found it, so all of the remaining prisoners are actually shot dead and the camp is burnt down. Fun Fact: this camp was actually the same set as the one used for Hogans Heros and they were allowed to use it as they would have to pull it all down after.
The final scene is a soldier telling his superior that everyone is dead and all proof of the camp will be removed so the allies will never know it is there, however, we see the american and his girlfriend standing on a hill in the distance. Dah Dah Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!
I'm not quite sure what I thought about the movie. I honestly don't think it was bad enough to tell you to avoid, but I certainly wouldn't recommend it as I don't find watched naked women being tortured for an hour and a half that entertaining. If you like this kind of movie, you'll no doubt like this one.
Sunday, 23 June 2013
WEEK 110 - Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS
Year: 1975
Reviews / Author Comments due: 29/06/1978
Reason for Inclusion: Reader requested.
BBFC Status: Never submitted, therefore nominally banned
DVD: The Ilsa Triliogy (cheaper, after postage, than the single movie)
Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.
Saturday, 22 June 2013
Boogeyman 2 - Will's Review
As with last week, this will be a short review, and for much the same reason.
First, the (slightly) interesting bit; why this film exists:
Ulli Lommel was credited as director for both the original The Boogeyman, and first sequel, Revenge of The Boogyman, but in truth his Revenge credit only exists because of the footage recycled from the original. All the new stuff about the people trying to make a movie of the events in the first film, were directed by a 2nd unit director. Lommel decided that he wanted to make a directors cut of the 2nd film, and so Boogeyman 2: Redux was born.
Aside from a few very brief glimpses, all either in black and white or fast forward, all of the 2nd unit footage has been excised, leaving.... only footage from the first film.
To get around that, Lommel himself has taken the roll of the director from the first movie (the one who was trying to film the Stab, to Boogyman's Scream) and filmed some VHS footage of himself being interviewed by an off screen policewoman, about the murders that happened on set (that is to say, the new murders from Revenge).
Rather than recounting anything about the murders though, he instead recounts the story that Lacy told him, which was to form his new movie.
In other words, we get the entire first movie, with narration, and an occasional cutaway to new footage. AGAIN.
Boogeyman was barely worth watching once, it certainly isn't good enough to sell 4 times!
Avoid.
First, the (slightly) interesting bit; why this film exists:
Ulli Lommel was credited as director for both the original The Boogeyman, and first sequel, Revenge of The Boogyman, but in truth his Revenge credit only exists because of the footage recycled from the original. All the new stuff about the people trying to make a movie of the events in the first film, were directed by a 2nd unit director. Lommel decided that he wanted to make a directors cut of the 2nd film, and so Boogeyman 2: Redux was born.
Aside from a few very brief glimpses, all either in black and white or fast forward, all of the 2nd unit footage has been excised, leaving.... only footage from the first film.
To get around that, Lommel himself has taken the roll of the director from the first movie (the one who was trying to film the Stab, to Boogyman's Scream) and filmed some VHS footage of himself being interviewed by an off screen policewoman, about the murders that happened on set (that is to say, the new murders from Revenge).
Rather than recounting anything about the murders though, he instead recounts the story that Lacy told him, which was to form his new movie.
In other words, we get the entire first movie, with narration, and an occasional cutaway to new footage. AGAIN.
Boogeyman was barely worth watching once, it certainly isn't good enough to sell 4 times!
Avoid.
Boogeyman 2 - Redux - Lisa's Review
Having now watched Boogeyman, Return of The Boogeyman, Revenge of The Boogeyman and now Boogeyman 2 - Redux, I'm not going to waste a lot of time on this review. If you have any interest in The Boogeyman at all, just watch the first one. The rest are basically a rehash of it anyway.
This movie is sadly no different. Of the running time, about 90% is made up of footage of the original Boogeyman movie. Believe it or not, they managed to get some footage from the second one in there too. The only piece of footage that is new is an interspersed police interview with Ulli Lommel (conducted 22 years after the event) that is being conducted. He claims to have no proper recollection of the events, but manages to narrate the entire events that happen in the first movie.
I'm afraid folks, there is absolutely nothing more to it. It seems Ulli Lommel wanted to create what he feels SHOULD have been the sequel to the original, so he completely ignored the fact Boogeyman 2 has already been made.
Sorry for the scant review, but really this movie should never have been released. Big fat avoid obviously.
I spent the extra time tonight watching next weeks movie to review as I won't be available next week.
This movie is sadly no different. Of the running time, about 90% is made up of footage of the original Boogeyman movie. Believe it or not, they managed to get some footage from the second one in there too. The only piece of footage that is new is an interspersed police interview with Ulli Lommel (conducted 22 years after the event) that is being conducted. He claims to have no proper recollection of the events, but manages to narrate the entire events that happen in the first movie.
I'm afraid folks, there is absolutely nothing more to it. It seems Ulli Lommel wanted to create what he feels SHOULD have been the sequel to the original, so he completely ignored the fact Boogeyman 2 has already been made.
Sorry for the scant review, but really this movie should never have been released. Big fat avoid obviously.
I spent the extra time tonight watching next weeks movie to review as I won't be available next week.
Monday, 17 June 2013
Week 109 - Boogeyman 2: Redux
Alternate Titles : Boogyman 2: Directors Cut
Year: 2002
Reviews / Author Comments due: 22/06/2013
Reason for Inclusion: Re-edit of DPP nasty "The Boogeyman"
BBFC Status: Passed uncut in 2007
More Info: No Wikipedia Page, IMDB page for original and redux versions
DVD: LINK
Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.
Saturday, 15 June 2013
Return of the Boogeyman - Will's Review
Man oh man, is this going to be a short review.
The 3rd movie in the Boogeyman trilogy is basically a framing device, wrapped around the first film.
I criticised the 2nd film for using too much footage of the first... I take it back. The 3rd entry in the series is probably 80% made up of footage from the first movie, albeit with a new VoiceOver.
This film opens with the intro from the first movie, which is being described by a woman who has visions to her shrink / paranormal investigator.
She then has a vision of the boogeyman killing a woman in a bath (footage which I believe is recycled from the first film).
Along with her shrink they go to warn the people who live at the supposed future murder scene.
For some reason, the 2 or three scenes set in the house of the bath murder are sepia toned.
After failing to stop the killing (which looks like an accident, as is the boogyman's MO), she then proceeds to have visions of the entire first movie, supposedly as they happen (putting this film chronologically right next to the original).
And that's it.
Really.
It's just a woman describing every key scene of the first movie, while the first movie is shown to us.
Avoid.
The 3rd movie in the Boogeyman trilogy is basically a framing device, wrapped around the first film.
I criticised the 2nd film for using too much footage of the first... I take it back. The 3rd entry in the series is probably 80% made up of footage from the first movie, albeit with a new VoiceOver.
This film opens with the intro from the first movie, which is being described by a woman who has visions to her shrink / paranormal investigator.
She then has a vision of the boogeyman killing a woman in a bath (footage which I believe is recycled from the first film).
Along with her shrink they go to warn the people who live at the supposed future murder scene.
For some reason, the 2 or three scenes set in the house of the bath murder are sepia toned.
After failing to stop the killing (which looks like an accident, as is the boogyman's MO), she then proceeds to have visions of the entire first movie, supposedly as they happen (putting this film chronologically right next to the original).
And that's it.
Really.
It's just a woman describing every key scene of the first movie, while the first movie is shown to us.
Avoid.
Return of the Boogeyman - Lisa's Review
I'm not going to waste a lot of time on this weeks review, as to be honest there's very little to say.
Last year, myself and Will set ourselves the challenge to watch and review all of the movies on the DPP List (find our reviews HERE). Amongst these movies were The Boogeyman and Revenge of the Boogeyman, the first 2 movies in this trilogy. I give you links to these movies, purely as this movie is quite simply a rehash of flashbacks from The Boogeyman with a few minutes of new (and extremely poor) footage. Revenge of the Boogeyman oddly enough was also a rehash of The Boogeyman.... Are they honestly so proud of this movie, they desire to make it 3 times???
This time we are treated to flashbacks to the first movie by way of visions of a supposed psychic who narrates over everything that is happening in every scene in a really monotone voice, to allow her psychiatrist an idea of what's going on. It's honestly like some kind of help for ridiculously stupid people who always want to know 'what's happening?'... maybe they should introduce this option alongside subtitles?
Whether it's due to this movie being so mind numbingly dull, or whether it's down to my own confusion, I couldn't work out whether the main character was flashing back to these murders, was supposedly fortelling the murders or whether the story was supposedly running concurrently? All 3 options are mentioned during the movie? I just found the whole thing very confusing... and I've pretty much watched it all before, TWICE!
Also the main character from the first movie - Lacey, is called Natalie in this movie? Surely if the basis of this movie is that it's a rehash of the first movie, then they could at least get their facts right?
In fact there are numerous discrepencies between this movie and the original.
There's not a lot else I can add I'm afraid. Only watch if you are in love with the original movie and wouldn't mind watching most of it again. I for one have seen that radio hit the bath more times than I ever needed to.
As with the previous 2... AVOID.
Last year, myself and Will set ourselves the challenge to watch and review all of the movies on the DPP List (find our reviews HERE). Amongst these movies were The Boogeyman and Revenge of the Boogeyman, the first 2 movies in this trilogy. I give you links to these movies, purely as this movie is quite simply a rehash of flashbacks from The Boogeyman with a few minutes of new (and extremely poor) footage. Revenge of the Boogeyman oddly enough was also a rehash of The Boogeyman.... Are they honestly so proud of this movie, they desire to make it 3 times???
This time we are treated to flashbacks to the first movie by way of visions of a supposed psychic who narrates over everything that is happening in every scene in a really monotone voice, to allow her psychiatrist an idea of what's going on. It's honestly like some kind of help for ridiculously stupid people who always want to know 'what's happening?'... maybe they should introduce this option alongside subtitles?
Whether it's due to this movie being so mind numbingly dull, or whether it's down to my own confusion, I couldn't work out whether the main character was flashing back to these murders, was supposedly fortelling the murders or whether the story was supposedly running concurrently? All 3 options are mentioned during the movie? I just found the whole thing very confusing... and I've pretty much watched it all before, TWICE!
Also the main character from the first movie - Lacey, is called Natalie in this movie? Surely if the basis of this movie is that it's a rehash of the first movie, then they could at least get their facts right?
In fact there are numerous discrepencies between this movie and the original.
There's not a lot else I can add I'm afraid. Only watch if you are in love with the original movie and wouldn't mind watching most of it again. I for one have seen that radio hit the bath more times than I ever needed to.
As with the previous 2... AVOID.
Sunday, 9 June 2013
Week 108: Return of the Boogeyman
Alternate Titles : Boogeyman 3
Year: 1994
Reviews / Author Comments due: 15/06/2013
Reason for Inclusion: 3rd part of a trilogy, both of the first 2 of which were on the DPP list.
BBFC Status: Never submitted for classification, therefore nominally banned.
DVD: Region 1 import in a set with the first (but not 2nd) movie.
Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.
Saturday, 8 June 2013
Nekromantik 2 - Will's Review
Spoilers for a hard to find, crap sequel to a crap film follow.
Here we go again...
I really enjoyed writing last weeks review; despite the fact that the film was just bad (not "so bad it's good" just bad) there were still enough off-kilter parts that I could at least get my teeth into sagging it off.
That should be the case again with this equally dire sequel, but I fear my verve for criticising this series may have waned; as this is, essentially, the second half of the same movie.
The film opens with a recap of Rob's suicide, then carries on with the woman's shoe that we saw digging up his grave.
The shoe belongs to Monica - a new character, who takes Rob's green, shiny, rigid corpse home.
How she gets him home undetected, we do not; it remains a movie mystery up there with "how the hell did they get King Kong to New York?".
Anyway, having got him home, she slowly undresses him (he's still wearing his suicide clothes, by the way), licks its face, then sits on his unyielding chest (seriously - this is one rock solid corpse) staring at his dill-pickle penis and moaning, until she freaks out and runs to the bathroom to throw up.
The whole freak-out / Nausea thing is never mentioned again, ad she returns to her life of cadaver boffing with no further issues.
The sex scene is intercut with the introduction of another new character, Mark, who dubs porn films for a living. Just an aside, Mark is like everyone else in the movie, German; and yet, despite speaking German for the entire rest of the movie, clearly says at one point "just wait while I get a drink" in English. For no reason.
A recurring problem in this movie is that the casting director seems to have a thing for women who look a certain way, resulting in 3 separate characters who can easily be mistaken for each other; with that in mind Mark calls Monica 2, and arranges to go see a film with her (and really drives home to her about being in time).
Outside the cinema, Mark is annoyed to be waiting for Monika 2, when he runs into Monika, takes her instead, and the two begin dating.
The film within a film that the two of them go to see is a black and white art film, consisting of a naked couple, seated at a table in the middle of a landfill, eating an extraordinary number of hard boiled eggs, while talking about birds. We see entirely too much of it, and I can only assume that it is a short film the director made, and this was a sneaky way if getting it released!
Sometime during all of this, Minica 3 (who I believe is Rob's girlfriend from the first movie, given a new hairstyle and dress-sense, to look like Monica) visits Robs (still open) grave, and is disappointed to find it empty. This is never mentioned again.
Monica begins to question her 'relationship' with Rob, and decides to dispose of him (apart from his head and genitals obviously) by dismembering him, bagging him up, and putting him back in his grave.
The dismemberment, while gory, is not well done... It looks every inch like a woman sawing up a blood filled movie prop; and as far as the reburial goes, Rob's grabs is STILL open, and having filled it with blue bin bags, Monica leaves it that way!
Monica isn't the only one having relationship doubts... finding a cling-filmed, rancid, cock-and-balls in her fridge is one thing, being asked to pose as though dead for photographs, one almost expects in a relationship; but when he comes home to find a bunch of her mates watching a video of a (real) seal autopsy, he has to have a serious think about their future!
After consulting Monica 2 and a random drunk guy, Mark decides that shagging Monica will probably sort everything out... Except she beheads him mid coitus, straps a cock ring on his less-than-mighty erection, and fixes Rob's head onto the fresh body.
Which she then fucks until they climax together (yes, the dead body convulses with orgasm).
In a short 'sting' sequence, we find out that Monica is pregnant.
On a technical level, it is better made than the first one - although this is faint praise indeed. Certain shots are interestingly composed (at least in the first few scenes) and it doesn't have the 'first student film' quality that part one had (which, again, I'm not saying it was well filmed - just less-appallingly composed.
While Monica is trying to decide what do do about Mark (presumably this is when she decides to give him a head transplant) she goes for a wonder on the beach, which is reminiscent of Rob's nature walk in the first film (when he decides to kill himself) - wether this was dumb luck, or a thematic choice is impossible to guess but... Fuck it; I'm acting like this trash is worth studying!
Avoid.
I really enjoyed writing last weeks review; despite the fact that the film was just bad (not "so bad it's good" just bad) there were still enough off-kilter parts that I could at least get my teeth into sagging it off.
That should be the case again with this equally dire sequel, but I fear my verve for criticising this series may have waned; as this is, essentially, the second half of the same movie.
The film opens with a recap of Rob's suicide, then carries on with the woman's shoe that we saw digging up his grave.
The shoe belongs to Monica - a new character, who takes Rob's green, shiny, rigid corpse home.
How she gets him home undetected, we do not; it remains a movie mystery up there with "how the hell did they get King Kong to New York?".
Anyway, having got him home, she slowly undresses him (he's still wearing his suicide clothes, by the way), licks its face, then sits on his unyielding chest (seriously - this is one rock solid corpse) staring at his dill-pickle penis and moaning, until she freaks out and runs to the bathroom to throw up.
The whole freak-out / Nausea thing is never mentioned again, ad she returns to her life of cadaver boffing with no further issues.
The sex scene is intercut with the introduction of another new character, Mark, who dubs porn films for a living. Just an aside, Mark is like everyone else in the movie, German; and yet, despite speaking German for the entire rest of the movie, clearly says at one point "just wait while I get a drink" in English. For no reason.
A recurring problem in this movie is that the casting director seems to have a thing for women who look a certain way, resulting in 3 separate characters who can easily be mistaken for each other; with that in mind Mark calls Monica 2, and arranges to go see a film with her (and really drives home to her about being in time).
Outside the cinema, Mark is annoyed to be waiting for Monika 2, when he runs into Monika, takes her instead, and the two begin dating.
The film within a film that the two of them go to see is a black and white art film, consisting of a naked couple, seated at a table in the middle of a landfill, eating an extraordinary number of hard boiled eggs, while talking about birds. We see entirely too much of it, and I can only assume that it is a short film the director made, and this was a sneaky way if getting it released!
Sometime during all of this, Minica 3 (who I believe is Rob's girlfriend from the first movie, given a new hairstyle and dress-sense, to look like Monica) visits Robs (still open) grave, and is disappointed to find it empty. This is never mentioned again.
Monica begins to question her 'relationship' with Rob, and decides to dispose of him (apart from his head and genitals obviously) by dismembering him, bagging him up, and putting him back in his grave.
The dismemberment, while gory, is not well done... It looks every inch like a woman sawing up a blood filled movie prop; and as far as the reburial goes, Rob's grabs is STILL open, and having filled it with blue bin bags, Monica leaves it that way!
Monica isn't the only one having relationship doubts... finding a cling-filmed, rancid, cock-and-balls in her fridge is one thing, being asked to pose as though dead for photographs, one almost expects in a relationship; but when he comes home to find a bunch of her mates watching a video of a (real) seal autopsy, he has to have a serious think about their future!
After consulting Monica 2 and a random drunk guy, Mark decides that shagging Monica will probably sort everything out... Except she beheads him mid coitus, straps a cock ring on his less-than-mighty erection, and fixes Rob's head onto the fresh body.
Which she then fucks until they climax together (yes, the dead body convulses with orgasm).
In a short 'sting' sequence, we find out that Monica is pregnant.
On a technical level, it is better made than the first one - although this is faint praise indeed. Certain shots are interestingly composed (at least in the first few scenes) and it doesn't have the 'first student film' quality that part one had (which, again, I'm not saying it was well filmed - just less-appallingly composed.
While Monica is trying to decide what do do about Mark (presumably this is when she decides to give him a head transplant) she goes for a wonder on the beach, which is reminiscent of Rob's nature walk in the first film (when he decides to kill himself) - wether this was dumb luck, or a thematic choice is impossible to guess but... Fuck it; I'm acting like this trash is worth studying!
Avoid.
Nekromantik 2 - Lisa's Review
*** SPOILERS ***
I always feel the need to warn of spoilers, even though the chances of anyone reading this review, never mind wanting to watch this movie is virtually nil.
Sooooo, following last weeks offering of Nekromantik, this week we have its sequel. Is it any better? I'm afraid not. Is it any worse? Thankfully not.
The storyline is pretty much the same... odd person who gets her kicks from having sex with a corpse. There is the same cringeworthy tonguing of aforementioned corpse and wierd sex scenes. This time we follow a woman (Monika) who ironically digs up the corpse of the fellow Nekrophiliac and star of the first installment (Rob), who we saw commit suicide at the end of the last movie. As I was watching, I had to mentally rebuff myself for actually treating this dross like it was worth any consideration as I mused that Rob would actually be rather pleased to know what became of him. The ultimate in erotic for him surely?
The scene where Monika transports Rob home and undresses him is painfully slow and long-winded. I'm like "Come on already!". Maybe it was worth the wait to see the awful moment when she removed his trousers and we could see the corpses 'rubber' feet. Anyways....
Alongside her new beau Rob, Monika also meets Mark (who dubs porn movies) and they immediately hit it off. Although odd as he is (the scenes of him 'working' are actually pretty funny), even he has problems dealing with just how odd his new girlfriend seems to be. Granted wanting him to not move an inch during sex and taking photos of him that make him appear to be dead could be considered a bit odd. You would think her little quirk would be obvious.
When she meets Mark, Monika somewhat reluctantly decides to end things with Rob by cutting him into pieces and storing him in her freezer. The anatomical inaccuracy here is just astounding and awful. When it comes down to it though, she is unable to do away with Rob in his entirety, so she decides to keep his decapitated head and genitals. Amusingly she puts his genitals on a little saucer covered in clingfilm. Mark actually discovers this little aperitif, yet continues to see Monika... weird man.
As with the first installment, we have another disturbing scene of animal visceration (a seal this time) which seems to have no place in the movie other than to illustrate to Mark, just how weird his new girlfriend is.
The above pretty much sums up the movie believe it or not. Yup, theres nothing much else to it. All we have to leave us with is a final sex scene between Monika and Mark, where yet again she is failing to reach any sort of satisfaction, so she decapitates Mark mid coitus (thanks Sheldon). She then ties off his penis, just to make sure he maintains his erection as his body is in the throes of death spasms. As if this isn't insulting enough, she replaces his head with the decomposing head of Rob, that she couldn't bear to part with. Et voila! Climax achieved!
Oh, I almost forgot, the movie ends with a doctor walking down a corridor (very slowly) and informing Monika that she is pregnant.
This movie, like its predecessor is pretty awful. The porn dubbing scenes are quite amusing and I will admit to the decapitation scene at the end being quite disturbing, but I think that's more due to me thinking about it too much, rather than any credit to the film maker. I don't have a great deal positive to say, so as with Nekromantik, I slap a big fat 'Avoid' on its backside.
I always feel the need to warn of spoilers, even though the chances of anyone reading this review, never mind wanting to watch this movie is virtually nil.
Sooooo, following last weeks offering of Nekromantik, this week we have its sequel. Is it any better? I'm afraid not. Is it any worse? Thankfully not.
The storyline is pretty much the same... odd person who gets her kicks from having sex with a corpse. There is the same cringeworthy tonguing of aforementioned corpse and wierd sex scenes. This time we follow a woman (Monika) who ironically digs up the corpse of the fellow Nekrophiliac and star of the first installment (Rob), who we saw commit suicide at the end of the last movie. As I was watching, I had to mentally rebuff myself for actually treating this dross like it was worth any consideration as I mused that Rob would actually be rather pleased to know what became of him. The ultimate in erotic for him surely?
The scene where Monika transports Rob home and undresses him is painfully slow and long-winded. I'm like "Come on already!". Maybe it was worth the wait to see the awful moment when she removed his trousers and we could see the corpses 'rubber' feet. Anyways....
Alongside her new beau Rob, Monika also meets Mark (who dubs porn movies) and they immediately hit it off. Although odd as he is (the scenes of him 'working' are actually pretty funny), even he has problems dealing with just how odd his new girlfriend seems to be. Granted wanting him to not move an inch during sex and taking photos of him that make him appear to be dead could be considered a bit odd. You would think her little quirk would be obvious.
When she meets Mark, Monika somewhat reluctantly decides to end things with Rob by cutting him into pieces and storing him in her freezer. The anatomical inaccuracy here is just astounding and awful. When it comes down to it though, she is unable to do away with Rob in his entirety, so she decides to keep his decapitated head and genitals. Amusingly she puts his genitals on a little saucer covered in clingfilm. Mark actually discovers this little aperitif, yet continues to see Monika... weird man.
As with the first installment, we have another disturbing scene of animal visceration (a seal this time) which seems to have no place in the movie other than to illustrate to Mark, just how weird his new girlfriend is.
The above pretty much sums up the movie believe it or not. Yup, theres nothing much else to it. All we have to leave us with is a final sex scene between Monika and Mark, where yet again she is failing to reach any sort of satisfaction, so she decapitates Mark mid coitus (thanks Sheldon). She then ties off his penis, just to make sure he maintains his erection as his body is in the throes of death spasms. As if this isn't insulting enough, she replaces his head with the decomposing head of Rob, that she couldn't bear to part with. Et voila! Climax achieved!
Oh, I almost forgot, the movie ends with a doctor walking down a corridor (very slowly) and informing Monika that she is pregnant.
This movie, like its predecessor is pretty awful. The porn dubbing scenes are quite amusing and I will admit to the decapitation scene at the end being quite disturbing, but I think that's more due to me thinking about it too much, rather than any credit to the film maker. I don't have a great deal positive to say, so as with Nekromantik, I slap a big fat 'Avoid' on its backside.
Sunday, 2 June 2013
Week 107: Nekromantik 2
Alternate Titles : Nekromantik 2: Return of the Loving Dead
Year: 1991
Reviews / Author Comments due: 8/6/13
Reason for Inclusion: Banned in many countries, never submitted in the UK.
BBFC Status: Never Submitted
DVD: Hellishly expensive
Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.
Saturday, 1 June 2013
Nekromantik - Will's Review
As very few people read these things, and even fewer of those are likely to see this movie, I'm going to feel free to use spoilers. If you think you might be interested seeing in a poorly made, dull, corpse-fucking movie; stop reading now , and go track down a copy of Necromantic.
Thank god they're gone.
So, of course, he takes it home for a threesome.
Unfortunately, our drown-man's penis has entirely rotted away, so Rob's girlfriend has to impale the corpse's groin area with a pole so she has somewhere to sit.
There is an extended scene of the two of them licking the slimy corpse, sucking its eyeballs and generally having sexy-time with it.
Incidentally, she does put a condom on the pole before inserting it... The deadly pathogens in rotting flesh may not be a thing in the movies cannon, but steel-pipe AIDS seems to be a very real concern.
They split up after he loses his job (a man who can't bring home cadavers? A self respecting woman can't be expected to put up with such things) and goes into a depression spiral that climaxes (quite literally) with a hilariously graphic (and hilariously bad) autoerotic suicide.
The suicide warrants a mention, and was easily the best/worst part of the movie. After finding the inner peace that only deciding to take your own life can bring, rob lays on his bed, pops out his cock (a joke-shop quality dildo) and stabs himself repeatedly in the stomach while, if you'll pardon the expression, cumming buckets. Seriously. Peter North has nothing in this guy.
Then there's a final sting in which an unseen woman starts digging up Rob's grave... Setting up next week's movie.
I had far more fun writing this review than I had watching the movie.
The movie opens with a woman taking a piss in a layby. Given that she dies all of 2 minutes later, I think it's unlikely that the director felt that this was a character building moment; so I can only assume that this was intended for titillation. (Don't worry all you female urophiliacs, by the 8 minute mark, you'll get to see a man pissing too)
So, as I mention, soon after taking a leak in a layby, the woman (along with the guy driving her) are killed in a car crash.
Cue a bunch of guys in hazmat suits (and no gloves) arrive on the scene to cordon it off, and set too picking up the woman's intestines (did I mention no gloves?) and dropping them into bin bags, while one of their colleagues cuts into the car with a consumer grade angle grinder to remove the man's body from the car.
Now, you might think that things like cordons would be handled by the police, and that the bodies would be cleared away by either a forensic technician or a coroner... Nope. Our guys work for a cleaning company.
It would seem like investigating a lethal car-crash isn't a high priority in Germany; getting the mess cleans up as fast and inexpensively as possible is key!
And so, we meet Rob, one of the cleaners, who helps himself to an eyeball and a heart from the scene (pfft, the relatives clearly weren't getting the body back anyway, who's going to miss a few parts?).
It turns out that Rob has quite a body-parts collection at home, which his girlfriend enjoys as much as he does (but then, she also likes cat blood in her bath water).
The next day at work, Rob hits pay dirt - the company are employed to remove a badly decomposing body from a lake, and Rob is charged with getting rid of it (again, investigations not a big thing in the Necromantic universe).
Now, you might think that things like cordons would be handled by the police, and that the bodies would be cleared away by either a forensic technician or a coroner... Nope. Our guys work for a cleaning company.
It would seem like investigating a lethal car-crash isn't a high priority in Germany; getting the mess cleans up as fast and inexpensively as possible is key!
And so, we meet Rob, one of the cleaners, who helps himself to an eyeball and a heart from the scene (pfft, the relatives clearly weren't getting the body back anyway, who's going to miss a few parts?).
It turns out that Rob has quite a body-parts collection at home, which his girlfriend enjoys as much as he does (but then, she also likes cat blood in her bath water).
The next day at work, Rob hits pay dirt - the company are employed to remove a badly decomposing body from a lake, and Rob is charged with getting rid of it (again, investigations not a big thing in the Necromantic universe).
So, of course, he takes it home for a threesome.
Unfortunately, our drown-man's penis has entirely rotted away, so Rob's girlfriend has to impale the corpse's groin area with a pole so she has somewhere to sit.
There is an extended scene of the two of them licking the slimy corpse, sucking its eyeballs and generally having sexy-time with it.
Incidentally, she does put a condom on the pole before inserting it... The deadly pathogens in rotting flesh may not be a thing in the movies cannon, but steel-pipe AIDS seems to be a very real concern.
They split up after he loses his job (a man who can't bring home cadavers? A self respecting woman can't be expected to put up with such things) and goes into a depression spiral that climaxes (quite literally) with a hilariously graphic (and hilariously bad) autoerotic suicide.
The suicide warrants a mention, and was easily the best/worst part of the movie. After finding the inner peace that only deciding to take your own life can bring, rob lays on his bed, pops out his cock (a joke-shop quality dildo) and stabs himself repeatedly in the stomach while, if you'll pardon the expression, cumming buckets. Seriously. Peter North has nothing in this guy.
Then there's a final sting in which an unseen woman starts digging up Rob's grave... Setting up next week's movie.
I had far more fun writing this review than I had watching the movie.
Nekromantik - Lisa's Review
***SPOILERS - if indeed you care***
Sometimes when I watch a movie, it takes me a while, sometimes a few days to decide whether I actually enjoyed the movie or not. Strange maybe, but true. A movie I thought was maybe just 'ok' in retrospect after a little bit of thought, I realise was actually quite good.
What has this got to do with this weeks movie I hear you ask?... well, this week that was not a problem at all. I am in no doubt as to what I felt about Nekromantik. If I didn't feel like a big, fat cheat for copying and pasting a dictionary definition for the word excrement as my review, that is exactly what you would be reading.
So why so bad? Where do I start. I'm not a person who is easily shocked. Granted, I do have my limits. I don't like watching any acts of cruelty which I know to be real. There have been scenes of real animal deaths in some movies we have watched which I have found very difficult, but aside from that anything else is fair game really. Don't get me wrong, there are staged scenes in movies, I find uncomfortable to watch, usually due to how they are portrayed, but gore generally doesn't offend me.
So to Nekromantik... I seem to be avoiding reviewing it thus far, for good reason really, I am struggling with the words to put together to give you any kind of idea as to how bad this movie actually is.
So, our premise here follows a young man (Rob) who works for a cleaning agency (by cleaning agency I mean a company who remove dead bodies). He has a bit of a penchant for corpses and various body parts of corpses. His job obviously provides the perfect opportunity for him to indulge in his pastime. Luckily for him, his very attractive (how did he manage that?) girlfriend Betty seems to share in his hobby.
This movie follows Rob as he brings home a decomposing corpse to Betty and proceeds to indulge in a threesome. For some reason the sex scenes in the movie are always shown with a 'shaky camera' style where everything seems out of focus. Small blessing I suppose. Do I really want to watch a woman straddle a section of piping covered in a condom which she has attached to a corpse? Or perhaps the face of a corpse shoved between a womans legs? Maybe a bit of corpse eyeball sucking would be more to my taste? I think not! I'm still trying to figure out why on earth you would put a piece of metal THERE!! Ouch!
Aside from the theft of the corpse, which seems to be the focus, the movie seems to be attempting a serious message by showing us the other side to Robs life, where he is bullied and walked over; a perpetual doormat, perhaps corpses are the only people he feels on a level with? He feels a bit more in control. This is also illustrated by his need to kill a prostitute in order to get aroused to have sex with her. For the record this scene is perhaps one of the lamest, worst acted scenes I have ever been witness to. This is only topped by the scene which directly follows where a man who comes upon the scene is decapitated from the jaw upwards by a shovel. So bad, its hilarious!
There isn't really much else to add about the movie. There is little script to speak of. The fact it is german probably doesn't matter, as you won't miss anything if you have no idea of anything that is being said. Rob gets turned on by corpses, body parts, innards - particularly intestines, rabbit killing, skinning and gutting and death in general. Betty dumps him as he loses his job and she is tried of being with a weak man who won't stand up for himself. She does however take the corpse with her as a parting gift. Rob ends up killing a prostitute, having sex with her, decapitating an old man before going home and stabbing himself to death whilst his enormous (but very fake looking) penis ejaculates all over the place. Sounds pretty fucked up? Well there you have it!
The movie ends with a shot of Robs grave and a female foot coming into shot with a spade ready to dig him up.
In case you were in any doubt as to what I thought of this movie. It was crap. A monumental waste of time. Asides from the laugh that the decapitation gave me, it was complete and utter dross. Big, fat AVOID slapped on its backside.
Sometimes when I watch a movie, it takes me a while, sometimes a few days to decide whether I actually enjoyed the movie or not. Strange maybe, but true. A movie I thought was maybe just 'ok' in retrospect after a little bit of thought, I realise was actually quite good.
What has this got to do with this weeks movie I hear you ask?... well, this week that was not a problem at all. I am in no doubt as to what I felt about Nekromantik. If I didn't feel like a big, fat cheat for copying and pasting a dictionary definition for the word excrement as my review, that is exactly what you would be reading.
So why so bad? Where do I start. I'm not a person who is easily shocked. Granted, I do have my limits. I don't like watching any acts of cruelty which I know to be real. There have been scenes of real animal deaths in some movies we have watched which I have found very difficult, but aside from that anything else is fair game really. Don't get me wrong, there are staged scenes in movies, I find uncomfortable to watch, usually due to how they are portrayed, but gore generally doesn't offend me.
So to Nekromantik... I seem to be avoiding reviewing it thus far, for good reason really, I am struggling with the words to put together to give you any kind of idea as to how bad this movie actually is.
So, our premise here follows a young man (Rob) who works for a cleaning agency (by cleaning agency I mean a company who remove dead bodies). He has a bit of a penchant for corpses and various body parts of corpses. His job obviously provides the perfect opportunity for him to indulge in his pastime. Luckily for him, his very attractive (how did he manage that?) girlfriend Betty seems to share in his hobby.
This movie follows Rob as he brings home a decomposing corpse to Betty and proceeds to indulge in a threesome. For some reason the sex scenes in the movie are always shown with a 'shaky camera' style where everything seems out of focus. Small blessing I suppose. Do I really want to watch a woman straddle a section of piping covered in a condom which she has attached to a corpse? Or perhaps the face of a corpse shoved between a womans legs? Maybe a bit of corpse eyeball sucking would be more to my taste? I think not! I'm still trying to figure out why on earth you would put a piece of metal THERE!! Ouch!
Aside from the theft of the corpse, which seems to be the focus, the movie seems to be attempting a serious message by showing us the other side to Robs life, where he is bullied and walked over; a perpetual doormat, perhaps corpses are the only people he feels on a level with? He feels a bit more in control. This is also illustrated by his need to kill a prostitute in order to get aroused to have sex with her. For the record this scene is perhaps one of the lamest, worst acted scenes I have ever been witness to. This is only topped by the scene which directly follows where a man who comes upon the scene is decapitated from the jaw upwards by a shovel. So bad, its hilarious!
There isn't really much else to add about the movie. There is little script to speak of. The fact it is german probably doesn't matter, as you won't miss anything if you have no idea of anything that is being said. Rob gets turned on by corpses, body parts, innards - particularly intestines, rabbit killing, skinning and gutting and death in general. Betty dumps him as he loses his job and she is tried of being with a weak man who won't stand up for himself. She does however take the corpse with her as a parting gift. Rob ends up killing a prostitute, having sex with her, decapitating an old man before going home and stabbing himself to death whilst his enormous (but very fake looking) penis ejaculates all over the place. Sounds pretty fucked up? Well there you have it!
The movie ends with a shot of Robs grave and a female foot coming into shot with a spade ready to dig him up.
In case you were in any doubt as to what I thought of this movie. It was crap. A monumental waste of time. Asides from the laugh that the decapitation gave me, it was complete and utter dross. Big, fat AVOID slapped on its backside.
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