*** SPOILERS *** (for what it's worth)
There are sometimes weeks when the movie isn't that hot, sometimes it's awful and sometimes we are very tempted to write "This was absolute shite" and leave it at that. Sadly, for me, this was the latter.
This movie is a remake of 1980 movie of the same name (removing the 2000). While the original movie wasn't all that hot, this one is just absolute bollocks! I suppose I should elaborate as to why I felt this was the case?
I'm not going to go into detail as to the premise, as I very much doubt anyone will want to see this movie on the strength of my review. Man kills his wife when she refuses to let him eat their dead child to survive after an accident at sea. He eats them both and then goes mad and kills and eats other people. That should about sum it up for you. Why didn't I enjoy it?
The acting was probably amongst the worst I have seen. The gore looked like something a GSCE art student produced (that's probably an insult to GCSE art students). Victims are replaced with what looks like a rubber model of themselves (that bears absolutely no resemblance to them) and then over the top, unrealistic, ridiculous gore is spattered upon us.
In one specific scene I struggled to understand what actual body part is being tugged out of one victims mouth... it looked like intestines (much too long for the tongue), but since the killer put his hand to the back of the victims throat and pulled, it's anyones guess.
Arms and heads are forcibly pulled off simply by the sheer strength of our bad guy. Various bits which should be anatomically there are not and vice versa. Victims flail about and make no attempt whatsoever to run. A pregnant woman flounders on her back and allows her stomach to be cut open and her unborn baby to be lifted out and bitten into, with nothing more than a few squeals.
The bad guy himself tugs out his own innards and chews on them after being shot multiple times and STILL has the strength to give chase to the last survivor and try to kill him!
If the gore scenes are laughable, then you have to see the sex scenes. I have never seen such passionless love making in all my life. The actors looked positively bored shitless! On one positive point, nice to see tattoos, piercings and long haired dudes in movies.
I don't think there is much else I can say about this movie. I HATED it. I didn't even laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. I didn't have to think twice about slapping a big fat AVOID on its ass!
Showing posts with label Decapitation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Decapitation. Show all posts
Saturday, 3 August 2013
Saturday, 20 July 2013
Coffin Baby - Lisa's Review
*** SPOILERS ***
Before I watched this movie, I noticed from a little online research that it wasn't especially popular. Actually that's me being kind. People seem to HATE this movie, thinking it a poor sequel to the remake of Toolbox Murders, so I wasn't expecting very much.
Did I hate the movie on the same level as most other people who submitted their opinions online? It seems not. It's an odd one. There were aspects of this movie which were great! I loved how it looked, the scene settings, the bad guy looked awesome, the gore was incredible. Some of the scenes were amongst the most gruesome I have ever seen in a movie. When I say most gruesome, what I mean is, they look very real. There is no faffing about and suspense here. It's in for the kill - pun intended!
Our basic premis here involves a young woman who is kidnapped by a murderer who is responsible for killing her sister. He holds her captive and makes her watch while he tortures and murders others in front of her in many different adventurous ways.
The plot itself was sadly full of holes and raised many questions which were never answered or addressed. Some details which seemed imporant throughout the story seemed to have been forgotten and were just left hanging. In places the acting was a bit 'hammy' and overdone. I have seen much, much worse though.
Moving on to the positives, the first murder scene in the movie is almost impossible to watch without registering some form of disgust or cowering away from the scene you're witnessing. It involves a very graphic facial mutilation before the actual murder itself, which had me cringing and thinking I may find it too difficult to watch this movie if there were more of the same. The special effects, sounds and general way this is depicted all seemed very realistic to me. So realistic it made me actually feel pretty damn uncomfortable watching it.
Did the gore continue? Well yes, but I think that particular scene was the one which freaked me out the most. Another scene starts off quite amusingly where a young black man has got out of his car (egged on by his mates) to move a random trolley that's blocking his way. Cue our bad guy who is not best amused that his belongings have been tampered with. An argument of sorts ensues where the young guy is wildly gesticulating at our bad guy. I was chuckling away when the mood changed very quickly and some more gore is thrown our way.
This theme does continue and there are many more good examples of these effects to keep all gore hounds happy. There are a couple of rather nasty beheadings (one of which was particularly realistic and not something I enjoyed watching at all) and a woman who is tied to a table and has slices of her flesh cut out and cooked to be eaten while she is still alive. The killer makes our hostage eat the flesh also and as she is starving, she is unable to help herself. A man is cut in half from the groin to the head with a table saw... the list continues.
Now, where the movie falls down. As I said earlier, the plot-line is very weak, there are inconsistencies everywhere, the acting, while it is not the worst I've ever seen is a bit over dramatic in places. It all seemed to end very quickly for my liking and without any proper kind of justice. Also a supernatural element that there really was no need for is introduced. This actually detracted for the movie for me.
All in all, it wasn't as awful a movie as reviews online would have you believe. I certainly didn't feel like I'd wasted my time in watching it, like is sometimes the case, but I doubt it's going to make many peoples top 10 movie list.
I would only recommend to anyone I know likes a bit of gore and isn't bothered about depth of story.
Before I watched this movie, I noticed from a little online research that it wasn't especially popular. Actually that's me being kind. People seem to HATE this movie, thinking it a poor sequel to the remake of Toolbox Murders, so I wasn't expecting very much.
Did I hate the movie on the same level as most other people who submitted their opinions online? It seems not. It's an odd one. There were aspects of this movie which were great! I loved how it looked, the scene settings, the bad guy looked awesome, the gore was incredible. Some of the scenes were amongst the most gruesome I have ever seen in a movie. When I say most gruesome, what I mean is, they look very real. There is no faffing about and suspense here. It's in for the kill - pun intended!
Our basic premis here involves a young woman who is kidnapped by a murderer who is responsible for killing her sister. He holds her captive and makes her watch while he tortures and murders others in front of her in many different adventurous ways.
The plot itself was sadly full of holes and raised many questions which were never answered or addressed. Some details which seemed imporant throughout the story seemed to have been forgotten and were just left hanging. In places the acting was a bit 'hammy' and overdone. I have seen much, much worse though.
Moving on to the positives, the first murder scene in the movie is almost impossible to watch without registering some form of disgust or cowering away from the scene you're witnessing. It involves a very graphic facial mutilation before the actual murder itself, which had me cringing and thinking I may find it too difficult to watch this movie if there were more of the same. The special effects, sounds and general way this is depicted all seemed very realistic to me. So realistic it made me actually feel pretty damn uncomfortable watching it.
Did the gore continue? Well yes, but I think that particular scene was the one which freaked me out the most. Another scene starts off quite amusingly where a young black man has got out of his car (egged on by his mates) to move a random trolley that's blocking his way. Cue our bad guy who is not best amused that his belongings have been tampered with. An argument of sorts ensues where the young guy is wildly gesticulating at our bad guy. I was chuckling away when the mood changed very quickly and some more gore is thrown our way.
This theme does continue and there are many more good examples of these effects to keep all gore hounds happy. There are a couple of rather nasty beheadings (one of which was particularly realistic and not something I enjoyed watching at all) and a woman who is tied to a table and has slices of her flesh cut out and cooked to be eaten while she is still alive. The killer makes our hostage eat the flesh also and as she is starving, she is unable to help herself. A man is cut in half from the groin to the head with a table saw... the list continues.
Now, where the movie falls down. As I said earlier, the plot-line is very weak, there are inconsistencies everywhere, the acting, while it is not the worst I've ever seen is a bit over dramatic in places. It all seemed to end very quickly for my liking and without any proper kind of justice. Also a supernatural element that there really was no need for is introduced. This actually detracted for the movie for me.
All in all, it wasn't as awful a movie as reviews online would have you believe. I certainly didn't feel like I'd wasted my time in watching it, like is sometimes the case, but I doubt it's going to make many peoples top 10 movie list.
I would only recommend to anyone I know likes a bit of gore and isn't bothered about depth of story.
Saturday, 8 June 2013
Nekromantik 2 - Lisa's Review
*** SPOILERS ***
I always feel the need to warn of spoilers, even though the chances of anyone reading this review, never mind wanting to watch this movie is virtually nil.
Sooooo, following last weeks offering of Nekromantik, this week we have its sequel. Is it any better? I'm afraid not. Is it any worse? Thankfully not.
The storyline is pretty much the same... odd person who gets her kicks from having sex with a corpse. There is the same cringeworthy tonguing of aforementioned corpse and wierd sex scenes. This time we follow a woman (Monika) who ironically digs up the corpse of the fellow Nekrophiliac and star of the first installment (Rob), who we saw commit suicide at the end of the last movie. As I was watching, I had to mentally rebuff myself for actually treating this dross like it was worth any consideration as I mused that Rob would actually be rather pleased to know what became of him. The ultimate in erotic for him surely?
The scene where Monika transports Rob home and undresses him is painfully slow and long-winded. I'm like "Come on already!". Maybe it was worth the wait to see the awful moment when she removed his trousers and we could see the corpses 'rubber' feet. Anyways....
Alongside her new beau Rob, Monika also meets Mark (who dubs porn movies) and they immediately hit it off. Although odd as he is (the scenes of him 'working' are actually pretty funny), even he has problems dealing with just how odd his new girlfriend seems to be. Granted wanting him to not move an inch during sex and taking photos of him that make him appear to be dead could be considered a bit odd. You would think her little quirk would be obvious.
When she meets Mark, Monika somewhat reluctantly decides to end things with Rob by cutting him into pieces and storing him in her freezer. The anatomical inaccuracy here is just astounding and awful. When it comes down to it though, she is unable to do away with Rob in his entirety, so she decides to keep his decapitated head and genitals. Amusingly she puts his genitals on a little saucer covered in clingfilm. Mark actually discovers this little aperitif, yet continues to see Monika... weird man.
As with the first installment, we have another disturbing scene of animal visceration (a seal this time) which seems to have no place in the movie other than to illustrate to Mark, just how weird his new girlfriend is.
The above pretty much sums up the movie believe it or not. Yup, theres nothing much else to it. All we have to leave us with is a final sex scene between Monika and Mark, where yet again she is failing to reach any sort of satisfaction, so she decapitates Mark mid coitus (thanks Sheldon). She then ties off his penis, just to make sure he maintains his erection as his body is in the throes of death spasms. As if this isn't insulting enough, she replaces his head with the decomposing head of Rob, that she couldn't bear to part with. Et voila! Climax achieved!
Oh, I almost forgot, the movie ends with a doctor walking down a corridor (very slowly) and informing Monika that she is pregnant.
This movie, like its predecessor is pretty awful. The porn dubbing scenes are quite amusing and I will admit to the decapitation scene at the end being quite disturbing, but I think that's more due to me thinking about it too much, rather than any credit to the film maker. I don't have a great deal positive to say, so as with Nekromantik, I slap a big fat 'Avoid' on its backside.
I always feel the need to warn of spoilers, even though the chances of anyone reading this review, never mind wanting to watch this movie is virtually nil.
Sooooo, following last weeks offering of Nekromantik, this week we have its sequel. Is it any better? I'm afraid not. Is it any worse? Thankfully not.
The storyline is pretty much the same... odd person who gets her kicks from having sex with a corpse. There is the same cringeworthy tonguing of aforementioned corpse and wierd sex scenes. This time we follow a woman (Monika) who ironically digs up the corpse of the fellow Nekrophiliac and star of the first installment (Rob), who we saw commit suicide at the end of the last movie. As I was watching, I had to mentally rebuff myself for actually treating this dross like it was worth any consideration as I mused that Rob would actually be rather pleased to know what became of him. The ultimate in erotic for him surely?
The scene where Monika transports Rob home and undresses him is painfully slow and long-winded. I'm like "Come on already!". Maybe it was worth the wait to see the awful moment when she removed his trousers and we could see the corpses 'rubber' feet. Anyways....
Alongside her new beau Rob, Monika also meets Mark (who dubs porn movies) and they immediately hit it off. Although odd as he is (the scenes of him 'working' are actually pretty funny), even he has problems dealing with just how odd his new girlfriend seems to be. Granted wanting him to not move an inch during sex and taking photos of him that make him appear to be dead could be considered a bit odd. You would think her little quirk would be obvious.
When she meets Mark, Monika somewhat reluctantly decides to end things with Rob by cutting him into pieces and storing him in her freezer. The anatomical inaccuracy here is just astounding and awful. When it comes down to it though, she is unable to do away with Rob in his entirety, so she decides to keep his decapitated head and genitals. Amusingly she puts his genitals on a little saucer covered in clingfilm. Mark actually discovers this little aperitif, yet continues to see Monika... weird man.
As with the first installment, we have another disturbing scene of animal visceration (a seal this time) which seems to have no place in the movie other than to illustrate to Mark, just how weird his new girlfriend is.
The above pretty much sums up the movie believe it or not. Yup, theres nothing much else to it. All we have to leave us with is a final sex scene between Monika and Mark, where yet again she is failing to reach any sort of satisfaction, so she decapitates Mark mid coitus (thanks Sheldon). She then ties off his penis, just to make sure he maintains his erection as his body is in the throes of death spasms. As if this isn't insulting enough, she replaces his head with the decomposing head of Rob, that she couldn't bear to part with. Et voila! Climax achieved!
Oh, I almost forgot, the movie ends with a doctor walking down a corridor (very slowly) and informing Monika that she is pregnant.
This movie, like its predecessor is pretty awful. The porn dubbing scenes are quite amusing and I will admit to the decapitation scene at the end being quite disturbing, but I think that's more due to me thinking about it too much, rather than any credit to the film maker. I don't have a great deal positive to say, so as with Nekromantik, I slap a big fat 'Avoid' on its backside.
Saturday, 11 May 2013
Guinea Pig 2 : Flower of Flesh and Blood - Lisa's Review
*** SPOILERS ***
I type 'Spoilers' at the start of this review, but I'm sure anyone who watches this movie, will know exactly what they're letting themselves in for as its not exactly a mainstream movie known by most people. Die-Hard horror fans will no doubt know about this movie, even if they haven't watched it.
I saw this movie maybe a year and a half ago, but watched it again this morning. There is no storyline here to speak of. The movie is a mere 40 minutes long and exists purely to document the kidnapping, dismemberment, disembowling and decapitation of a young woman. This is all played out very slowly, very close-up and the camera NEVER pans away. Disturbingly the woman is alive throughout the entire ordeal until her decapitation.
The actual special effects, while they have faults are very well done. You watch it and find yourself wondering how they achieved certain parts of the movie. There was a bit too much red jelly-like material for me for it to look as authentic as it could have, but the actual cuts and dismemberment look eerilly real. Special mention has to go however to the authenticity of the removed eyeball and the yicking it caused me when the perpetrator enjoys a suck on it. DISGUSTING! Just as much so as the tonguing of the decapitated head....
The young woman is injected with drugs before the murderer sets to work and I don't know what he has given her, but by gawd it must be strong for what was endured without as much as a squeak from her! I could do with me some of that for when the old back is playing up.
I could recommend this movie to carefully selected friends, but most people you would recommend this to who watched it would no doubt think you were seriously disturbed for watching it, never mind recommending it. Never-the-less, I hand the 'recommended' award to this one, purely because I think fans of gory horror really should see it as I don't think I have seen anything like it before.
I found it difficult to watch and it felt very exploitative to me due to the close-up unflinching depiction of this poor womans demise, but you have to hand it to them, they achieved exactly what they set out to I imagine. I'm not a squeamish person at all, but I found myself wrinkling my nose on more than 1 occasion watching this one, for that alone it deserves the thumbs up.
I type 'Spoilers' at the start of this review, but I'm sure anyone who watches this movie, will know exactly what they're letting themselves in for as its not exactly a mainstream movie known by most people. Die-Hard horror fans will no doubt know about this movie, even if they haven't watched it.
I saw this movie maybe a year and a half ago, but watched it again this morning. There is no storyline here to speak of. The movie is a mere 40 minutes long and exists purely to document the kidnapping, dismemberment, disembowling and decapitation of a young woman. This is all played out very slowly, very close-up and the camera NEVER pans away. Disturbingly the woman is alive throughout the entire ordeal until her decapitation.
The actual special effects, while they have faults are very well done. You watch it and find yourself wondering how they achieved certain parts of the movie. There was a bit too much red jelly-like material for me for it to look as authentic as it could have, but the actual cuts and dismemberment look eerilly real. Special mention has to go however to the authenticity of the removed eyeball and the yicking it caused me when the perpetrator enjoys a suck on it. DISGUSTING! Just as much so as the tonguing of the decapitated head....
The young woman is injected with drugs before the murderer sets to work and I don't know what he has given her, but by gawd it must be strong for what was endured without as much as a squeak from her! I could do with me some of that for when the old back is playing up.
I could recommend this movie to carefully selected friends, but most people you would recommend this to who watched it would no doubt think you were seriously disturbed for watching it, never mind recommending it. Never-the-less, I hand the 'recommended' award to this one, purely because I think fans of gory horror really should see it as I don't think I have seen anything like it before.
I found it difficult to watch and it felt very exploitative to me due to the close-up unflinching depiction of this poor womans demise, but you have to hand it to them, they achieved exactly what they set out to I imagine. I'm not a squeamish person at all, but I found myself wrinkling my nose on more than 1 occasion watching this one, for that alone it deserves the thumbs up.
Saturday, 4 May 2013
Blood Feast 2 - All You Can Eat - Lisa's Review
*** SPOILERS ****
I don't quite know where to begin with this weeks movie.... When it started there was much eyeball rolling in this house, but I have to admit as I watched a bit more it was definately entertaining. Not in the way you may think. This movie is hilarious!
It's not funny because its so monumentally crap, but it is actually played for laughs all the way. The whole script and every character are almost cartoon in style and everything is tongue-in-cheek. I found the humour similar to Airplane/Naked Gun type humour but with LOTS of gore.
The movie follows on from the original Blood Feast (released several decades earlier and on the DPP list) and has the original character Mr Rasmes's grandson Mr Ramses the 3rd, follow in the footsteps of his grandfather after he is possessed by his grandads statue of the Egyptian god Ishtar. He sets to murdering lots of attractive young women, who just happen to be bridesmaids for a wedding that he is catering for. His plan is to do what his grandfather didn't manage to do and make a 'Blood Feast' for the wedding with parts of his victims.
Surprisingly the gore is actually not too bad either in places. You can tell this movie didn't have a big budget to play about with and true, there are some effects that are awful, but I found the appearance of the internal organs, intestines and brain to be very authentic. There were places that made you cringe and I was quite surprised the camera didn't cut away in a lot of places, but that seemed to be what this movie did best. Showed you the bits other movies don't. We see a partial decapitation which goes on way longer than I thought it would. Another scene shows a young woman have her face peeled down and her de-skinned face is still screaming. The murderer then proceeds to saw off the top of her scalp and play with her brain in an way which would imply he was getting some kind of sexual arousal from it. This is also shown from his fingering of the holes where eyeballs used to be (removed with a little melon scooper) and the sliding of fingers into what I think was a liver? I'm not sure...
It all sounds a bit gruesome but it is ridiculously over the top and almost comic book in style. From the cold, opinionated, nasty mother of the bride to the innocent, cute, endearing bride. From the young bumbling stupid police officer who vomits at every crime scene to the older, even more stupid fat partner who never stops eating EVER through the movie, even when looking over the remains of victims. The only person in the movie who seems to have a brain cell (apart from our murderer of course) is the secretary in the police station, who of course is your stereotypical beautiful woman with hair all scooped back and glasses on. We get to see her shake the hair down, take the glasses off and get the bits out in one of the policemans fantasies... I didn't see that coming AT ALL!
Another section of the movie shows all the bridesmaids deciding that a 'lingerie party' would be an excellent idea, so we get to see them all strip down (in a way that no woman every strips unless its for a mans benefit) to their very sexy underwear. Similar to the needless shower scene where there is much posturing about by the nubile young woman who wears her towel around her waist man style for all of about 5 seconds when she exits the shower.
The murders are all pretty gruesome but like I said, the movie isn't to be taken seriously and is actually genuinely funny. This is one that would probably be quite good fun to watch with a group of like-minded mates.
I struggled with whether I should recommend this one as I did enjoy it, but I decided not to as the vast majority of people would think this was absolutely dire. I would imagine though that Will quite enjoyed this one too.
Saturday, 29 December 2012
Silent Night, Deadly Night - Lisa's Review
*** SPOILERS ***
I'll be quick this week as we have a house full of lurgy, a migrane ridden husband and a sick child.
I'm torn yet again with what I thought about this weeks movie. I can definately see the appeal to the masses. It's a typical 80's slasher movie. Young boy (Billy) witnesses a tragedy that is the murder of his parents and rape of his mother by a criminal dressed as Santa Claus (who he already has a fear of Santa anyway following a rather sinister conversation with his 'supposedly' catatonic grandfather in a home - who it turns out is far from catatonic). This leaves him and his brother Ricky as orphans. This already warped young mind is further twisted by nuns in the orphanage where he is placed. Evil catholic nuns is a favourite in horrors.
As an adult, for reasons best known to himself, Billy ends up working in a toy store. For a boy/young man who has such a problem with Santa/Christmas its possibly not the best choice of career. Predictably he ends up having to stand in for the store Santa and spends the day scaring the bejezus out of all the kids.
Here Billys killing spress starts after he witnesses the girl he thinks he is in love with that he works with getting off with someone else.. another horror staple for pushing the guy over the edge. There is plenty of opportunity for topless women, another staple.... you can see why I'm not jumping up and down about this one....
What follows is Billy killing lots of people in a variety of ways, including impaling on reindeer antlers which I suppose was one original scene in the movie. We also have a decpaitation, knife stabbing, Axing.
We also have a little twist at the end, which is a must have in this kind of movie. I found it hard to let this one pull me in as it was full of so many cliches and I felt like I'd watched it many times before, even though I know I haven't. I'm not saying it's a terrible movie by any means, I know it will appeal to many people who are fans of this kind of movie. It just didn't do it for me. I don't feel I have completely wasted my time by watching it, yet I don't feel its one I would recommend anyone rush out to see either. It is a typical 80's slasher movie. I suppose there is the additional draw of the seasonal aspect, but I can't see any reason to watch this outside of December.
If you want a no-brainer seasonal horror, by all means, you could do much worse than this one. If you want something good to watch, probably best not bother.
I'll be quick this week as we have a house full of lurgy, a migrane ridden husband and a sick child.
I'm torn yet again with what I thought about this weeks movie. I can definately see the appeal to the masses. It's a typical 80's slasher movie. Young boy (Billy) witnesses a tragedy that is the murder of his parents and rape of his mother by a criminal dressed as Santa Claus (who he already has a fear of Santa anyway following a rather sinister conversation with his 'supposedly' catatonic grandfather in a home - who it turns out is far from catatonic). This leaves him and his brother Ricky as orphans. This already warped young mind is further twisted by nuns in the orphanage where he is placed. Evil catholic nuns is a favourite in horrors.
As an adult, for reasons best known to himself, Billy ends up working in a toy store. For a boy/young man who has such a problem with Santa/Christmas its possibly not the best choice of career. Predictably he ends up having to stand in for the store Santa and spends the day scaring the bejezus out of all the kids.
Here Billys killing spress starts after he witnesses the girl he thinks he is in love with that he works with getting off with someone else.. another horror staple for pushing the guy over the edge. There is plenty of opportunity for topless women, another staple.... you can see why I'm not jumping up and down about this one....
What follows is Billy killing lots of people in a variety of ways, including impaling on reindeer antlers which I suppose was one original scene in the movie. We also have a decpaitation, knife stabbing, Axing.
We also have a little twist at the end, which is a must have in this kind of movie. I found it hard to let this one pull me in as it was full of so many cliches and I felt like I'd watched it many times before, even though I know I haven't. I'm not saying it's a terrible movie by any means, I know it will appeal to many people who are fans of this kind of movie. It just didn't do it for me. I don't feel I have completely wasted my time by watching it, yet I don't feel its one I would recommend anyone rush out to see either. It is a typical 80's slasher movie. I suppose there is the additional draw of the seasonal aspect, but I can't see any reason to watch this outside of December.
If you want a no-brainer seasonal horror, by all means, you could do much worse than this one. If you want something good to watch, probably best not bother.
Wednesday, 12 September 2012
Terror Eyes - Lisa's Review
So another slasher whodunnit movie this week... well I say this week, but as I'm late with this weeks movie, I'm playing catchup from last week. Was it worth the wait? Ummmm no.
It wasn't the worst thing I've ever seen by a long shot. It was watchable, but was it enjoyable? Ummmm no.
Saturday, 8 September 2012
Terror Eyes - Will's Review
You know how the saying goes; Another week, another forgettable (though not entirely terrible) slasher!
This time, a killer in biker leathers and helmet is decapitating women, and throwing their heads in water.
It quickly becomes apparent that the victims all have one thing in common - the apparent, or alleged, affection of a college Anthropology professor, who collects skulls gathered from tribal head hunters from around the world; Mmmmmmm...
It quickly becomes apparent that the victims all have one thing in common - the apparent, or alleged, affection of a college Anthropology professor, who collects skulls gathered from tribal head hunters from around the world; Mmmmmmm...
Saturday, 11 August 2012
The Slayer - Lisa's Review
*** SPOILERS ***
A familiar feel to this weeks movie.... A woman has recurring dreams, which start to appear to come true and the horrid series of events can only continue while she sleeps. If she stays awake, everyone will be fine... Hmmm sound familiar? From a little reading however, it seems doubtful Wes Craven found his inspiration for 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' from this little movie, although the premis is so eerily similar.
Saturday, 7 July 2012
Nightmare Maker - Lisa's Review
Bit of a weird one this week. This movie, like a few other 'nasties' has the feel of a TV movie to me, but the content is most definately not something you would find on TV. Obsession, incest, homophobia and murder pretty much sum it up.
We focus on teenager Billy, who has been living with his aunt Cheryl since the death of his parents in a car accident. The movie actually opens with the accident and some pretty ok effects I thought. A nasty decapitation for the dad and a roll job and burst into flames for the mum. I thought the sudden and fast entry into some action bode well for the movie, but we were led onto a completely different movie from then on.
Saturday, 17 March 2012
The House by the cemetery - Lisa's Review
A nice little movie this week! Another Fulci offering. This movie is apparently a part of an unofficial trilogy with The Beyond which we watched a few months ago when we were still on 'B' and City of the living dead.
*** SPOILERS ***
Although the movie is quite dated as you would expect and the poor dubbing is irritating, I still managed to enjoy this movie. Its a good little afternoon view. I didn't find anything particularly scary, but the makeup in places is very good. Its just in shame in some other places, its so bad.
The basic premis without going into too much detail is a family (Mum Lucy, Dad Norman and young boy Bob) moving to a town called New Whitby due to the the father (Norman) having to research some old houses. The house they move into however is not as innocent as it seems.
We 'the viewer' already have this information on board from the opening scene of a young woman (topless at that... why do women never wear bras in these movies?) who is murdered via a knife to the back of the head (which protrudes from her mouth) as she is looking for her boyfriend. Also Bob keeps seeing the ghost of a young girl Mae who warns him not to go to the house.
Of course they go anyway and the inevitable happens.
They have gravestones in the garden and even in the hallway, of a family called 'The Freudsteins (on a side note, this really bothered me as they were referred to as Freudsteens in the movie, but german pronunciation dictates that with an ie or ei, you pronounce the last letter, so they should have been referred to as Freudstine!) anyways I deviate. We find out that Dr Freudstein does what all historical doctors have done in movies like this....illegal experiements. He also ends up killing his family.
We find out Freudstein is in fact still alive and in the cellar of the house as he is using parts from his victims to regenerate his blood cells. The reveal is kind of disappointing. He looks kind of like a withered ET and a scene which shows only his eyes glowing in the cellar when young Bob comes across him is just laughable.
Nothing much more to the story really. Bad stuff happens, people die.
Points worth noting in the movie are the doggedly determined, haemophiliac bat (very amusing scene), the stabbing by poker (what a horrid way to go and very good effects) and the slow decapitation by knife (again good effects, but let down by the poor severed head rolling down the stairs later).
The movie has its faults, but on the whole, it was a fun watch and something I would watch again. This one gets a 'recommended' from me.
Something I've gained from watching these movies is an appreciation of Mr Fulci!
Saturday, 14 January 2012
Evilspeak - Lisa's Review
***SPOILERS***
Bit of a wierd one this in some respects... in that although there were monumentally crap parts to this movie, I quite enjoyed it. For some reason, it reminded me of a male Carrie (obviously nowhere near as good, but the idea was there).
I thought we had a movie set in olden times when this one started and subtitled... I thought this is going to be a challenge with a screaming baby to contend with, but thankfully after an initial 5 minutes or so to set the scene, we switch to what would have been the present day when this movie was made.
We start with what looks like a monk/priest (very bad man!! you just know by looking at them don't you? The menacing glare usually gives it away) being banished by what must be the top dog amongst the holy men. He is accused of satanism and refuses to renounce his worship. This scene ends with possibly the worst beheading (as in crap) I have yet to see in any movie. It was rather satisying that it was the young woman with the impossibly high breasts! *snigger*.
The background set, we head to military school and meet our 'hero' if you will. - Coopersmith (I thought he was called Cooper Smith, but a check online told me otherwise). His parents have been killed in a car accident and he's been placed in this school that he otherwise would never have got into, as he's a bit slow it seems. He (like Carrie) is the misfit, the nerd, the one no-one likes. He is bullied, picked on and ridiculed by other boys and even it seems by a rather cruel minister. One thing which I found it really hard to shake through the whole film is that this is the little kid from 'Gentle Ben'... I so wish they had named a character Ben, just so he could lose him and run around shouting his name... just for the nostalgia.
Getting on to the story, while on a punishment cleaning duty of the cellar, he comes across a rather cool looking book of Black Magic with a jewelled pentagram on the front. This is obviously from our original banished priest. Coopersmith sets to translating the book and for some reason that was completely lost on me through the entire movie, he decides to follow the commands within it to worship satan (and he seems such a nice boy) and bring our nasty man back to life.
One thing I found really irritating about the movie is that the computer he uses to translate the book somehow seems to become possessed and throughout the movie, it throws up all kinds of crap statements and images. I would have much preferred the movie, had he done it the old fashioned way and went to the library and translated it.
We kick off proceedings with a drunken caretaker who wakes up and gets into a tussle with Coopersmith. This culminates inCoopersmith crying out for help and the caretaker meeting a nasty end where his head twists completely around to face the wrong direction. The special effects here are laughable btw.
Later on Coopermith leaves his book on a desk with the school secretary when he is in seeing the head teacher and she develops an obssession with the jewels on the Pentagram... consequentally we need to see her have a shower with the obligatory boob scene, then she is inexplicably attacked and eaten by wild boars. This scene is quite funny as we alternate between a vicious puppet of a boar and some very contented boars wandering about the bathroom.
We go on to a beauty contest (for whatever reason) at the school and lots of girls walking about in bikinis. I didn't really see the point of this section of the movie, but hey ho.
We go on to have Coopersmiths little pet doggie (given to him by a staff member and rare friend) killed by the bullies who are trying to give this 'computer' what it wants - blood. He however demands HUMAN blood. Hmmmmm. That fecking computer!
Meanwhile, there is a service going on upstairs where a Jesus on a crucifix seems to come to life. The veins on his wrist start to pllsate and a nail flies out of his bleeding stoney hand and lodges itself in the miniters forehead... most amusing!
You don't wanna mess with Coopersmith! He becomes possessed by our scary evil priest man and goes on a rampage. This is where the movie went all Carrie for me. Lots of people die nastilly. Very amusingly Coopersmith starts to hover above everyone with his hoisty thing, very clear to be seen underneath his very oddly shaped clothing.
He wields a very lovely sword and the best kill of the movie is a head splitting scene. There are also some awfully bad decapitations and some more hog eating to be done.
We end the movie weirdly with the caretaker who died earlier with the reverse head spin coming back to life and pulling one of the bullies still beating heart out of his chest.... getting bored of that effect now....
In conclusion, we are treated to the news via that update text you sometimes get at the end of movies (I hate that!) that Coopersmith is now in an asylum recovering from everything that happened but the computer with his crap graphics, informs us that he shall return!
I did enjoy parts of this movie, even though some of it was spectacularly bad. You could do worse than watch this one, but you're not going to see anything ground breaking, overly disgusting, creepy or witness any fantastic acting. Medicore but with its own charm.
Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.
Bit of a wierd one this in some respects... in that although there were monumentally crap parts to this movie, I quite enjoyed it. For some reason, it reminded me of a male Carrie (obviously nowhere near as good, but the idea was there).
I thought we had a movie set in olden times when this one started and subtitled... I thought this is going to be a challenge with a screaming baby to contend with, but thankfully after an initial 5 minutes or so to set the scene, we switch to what would have been the present day when this movie was made.
We start with what looks like a monk/priest (very bad man!! you just know by looking at them don't you? The menacing glare usually gives it away) being banished by what must be the top dog amongst the holy men. He is accused of satanism and refuses to renounce his worship. This scene ends with possibly the worst beheading (as in crap) I have yet to see in any movie. It was rather satisying that it was the young woman with the impossibly high breasts! *snigger*.
The background set, we head to military school and meet our 'hero' if you will. - Coopersmith (I thought he was called Cooper Smith, but a check online told me otherwise). His parents have been killed in a car accident and he's been placed in this school that he otherwise would never have got into, as he's a bit slow it seems. He (like Carrie) is the misfit, the nerd, the one no-one likes. He is bullied, picked on and ridiculed by other boys and even it seems by a rather cruel minister. One thing which I found it really hard to shake through the whole film is that this is the little kid from 'Gentle Ben'... I so wish they had named a character Ben, just so he could lose him and run around shouting his name... just for the nostalgia.
Getting on to the story, while on a punishment cleaning duty of the cellar, he comes across a rather cool looking book of Black Magic with a jewelled pentagram on the front. This is obviously from our original banished priest. Coopersmith sets to translating the book and for some reason that was completely lost on me through the entire movie, he decides to follow the commands within it to worship satan (and he seems such a nice boy) and bring our nasty man back to life.
One thing I found really irritating about the movie is that the computer he uses to translate the book somehow seems to become possessed and throughout the movie, it throws up all kinds of crap statements and images. I would have much preferred the movie, had he done it the old fashioned way and went to the library and translated it.
We kick off proceedings with a drunken caretaker who wakes up and gets into a tussle with Coopersmith. This culminates inCoopersmith crying out for help and the caretaker meeting a nasty end where his head twists completely around to face the wrong direction. The special effects here are laughable btw.
Later on Coopermith leaves his book on a desk with the school secretary when he is in seeing the head teacher and she develops an obssession with the jewels on the Pentagram... consequentally we need to see her have a shower with the obligatory boob scene, then she is inexplicably attacked and eaten by wild boars. This scene is quite funny as we alternate between a vicious puppet of a boar and some very contented boars wandering about the bathroom.
We go on to a beauty contest (for whatever reason) at the school and lots of girls walking about in bikinis. I didn't really see the point of this section of the movie, but hey ho.
We go on to have Coopersmiths little pet doggie (given to him by a staff member and rare friend) killed by the bullies who are trying to give this 'computer' what it wants - blood. He however demands HUMAN blood. Hmmmmm. That fecking computer!
Meanwhile, there is a service going on upstairs where a Jesus on a crucifix seems to come to life. The veins on his wrist start to pllsate and a nail flies out of his bleeding stoney hand and lodges itself in the miniters forehead... most amusing!
You don't wanna mess with Coopersmith! He becomes possessed by our scary evil priest man and goes on a rampage. This is where the movie went all Carrie for me. Lots of people die nastilly. Very amusingly Coopersmith starts to hover above everyone with his hoisty thing, very clear to be seen underneath his very oddly shaped clothing.
He wields a very lovely sword and the best kill of the movie is a head splitting scene. There are also some awfully bad decapitations and some more hog eating to be done.
We end the movie weirdly with the caretaker who died earlier with the reverse head spin coming back to life and pulling one of the bullies still beating heart out of his chest.... getting bored of that effect now....
In conclusion, we are treated to the news via that update text you sometimes get at the end of movies (I hate that!) that Coopersmith is now in an asylum recovering from everything that happened but the computer with his crap graphics, informs us that he shall return!
I did enjoy parts of this movie, even though some of it was spectacularly bad. You could do worse than watch this one, but you're not going to see anything ground breaking, overly disgusting, creepy or witness any fantastic acting. Medicore but with its own charm.
Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.
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