Week 85 - The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

Alternate Titles : none. but note that the correct spelling has "Chain Saw" as two words (which is wrong) - the sequils and remake all corrected this.

Year: 1974

Reviews / Author Comments due: 05/01/2013

Reason for Inclusion: After being shown in the UK for 1 year with an 'X' rating, it was then banned by the BBFC for over 20 years. it upset the censors so much that the word "Chainsaw" was banned from use in any movie title in the UK for a while.

BBFC Status: Passed uncut in 1999 (reference impossible to find on new look BBFC website)

More Info: Wikipedia, IMDB

DVD: LINK

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Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Silent Night, Deadly Night - Lisa's Review

*** SPOILERS ***

I'll be quick this week as we have a house full of lurgy, a migrane ridden husband and a sick child.

I'm torn yet again with what I thought about this weeks movie.  I can definately see the appeal to the masses.  It's a typical 80's slasher movie.  Young boy (Billy) witnesses a tragedy that is the murder of his parents and rape of his mother by a criminal dressed as Santa Claus (who he already has a fear of Santa anyway following a rather sinister conversation with his 'supposedly' catatonic grandfather in a home - who it turns out is far from catatonic).  This leaves him and his brother Ricky as orphans.  This already warped young mind is further twisted by nuns in the orphanage where he is placed.  Evil catholic nuns is a favourite in horrors.

As an adult, for reasons best known to himself, Billy ends up working in a toy store. For a boy/young man who has such a problem with Santa/Christmas its possibly not the best choice of career.  Predictably he ends up having to stand in for the store Santa and spends the day scaring the bejezus out of all the kids.

Here Billys killing spress starts after he witnesses the girl he thinks he is in love with that he works with getting off with someone else.. another horror staple for pushing the guy over the edge.  There is plenty of opportunity for topless women, another staple.... you can see why I'm not jumping up and down about this one....

What follows is Billy killing lots of people in a variety of ways, including impaling on reindeer antlers which I suppose was one original scene in the movie.  We also have a decpaitation, knife stabbing, Axing.

We also have a little twist at the end, which is a must have in this kind of movie.  I found it hard to let this one pull me in as it was full of so many cliches and I felt like I'd watched it many times before, even though I know I haven't.  I'm not saying it's a terrible movie by any means, I know it will appeal to many people who are fans of this kind of movie.  It just didn't do it for me.  I don't feel I have completely wasted my time by watching it, yet I don't feel its one I would recommend anyone rush out to see either.  It is a typical 80's slasher movie.  I suppose there is the additional draw of the seasonal aspect, but I can't see any reason to watch this outside of December.

If you want a no-brainer seasonal horror, by all means, you could do much worse than this one.  If you want something good to watch, probably best not bother.

Silent Night, Deadly Night - Will's Review

I've been threatening to watch this one for about 10 years, but never got around to it until a (self imposed) rule on a blog told me I 'Had' to... I don't know what that says about me, but "I'll watch one day..." it is one of the reasons I decided to start blogging the Video Nasties in the first place, and it great that not only did it work, but it's now continuing to work with non DPP movies!

The premise is simple: Age 5, Ricky sees his parents murdered (and his mother molested) by a man in a Santa suit (an armed robber on the run as it happens, but that's by-the-by). 13 years later, having grown up with a hatred of Christmas, and a dread fear of Santa Clause, he is roped into playing Santa  when the grotto-santa at the shop he works at calls in sick; This is enough to push Ricky over the edge and (still suited up) goes on a killing spree.



It's a compliantly made, low budget, post FT13th, 80's slasher, with all that entails; Most of the effects are good enough, though none are great, there are a handful (if you'll pardon the expression  of gratuitous scenes of topless young ladies, and the "plot" serves mostly to put victims in the path of Ricky and whatever improvised weapon comes to hand (This may be the only movie, and is almost certainly the first movie, where a killer runs someone through with a pair of antlers).

Characters are often introduced and killed in the same scene; a real pet hate of mine in modern movies (if I don't know the characters, why would I care when they are killed) but that somehow works in 80's slashers (where we care more about the killer and the method they are killed).

Dark humor highlights include Ricky (while still working as a grotto-Santa) quietly threatening a child into sitting quietly, while a group of parents look on admiring how great he is with kids, and the moment where he gives a young girl a bloody knife, after checking that she has been good.

My only real gripe with the movie is Ricky's Grandpa; The movie opens with Ricky and his parents visiting Grandpa in a (very empty) care home. While Mum and Dad are out of the room, Grandpa reveals to Ricky that he is only pretending to be catatonic; then he goes on to (deliberately) scare his grandson by telling him that Santa 'punishes' children if they have done anything naughty all year. This is never mentioned again; I don't know about you, but when I find out that a catatonic person in a movie is faking it, I expext some kind of payoff down the line...

Oh, and Ricky has a younger brother, who literally has no job in the movie until a sequel setup is needed at the end.

So, Grandpa and Little brother aside, I straight up loved this movie; A killer Santa Clause is every bit as much fun as it sounds, and is done here much better than in 1980's Christmas Evil (which, to be fair, didn't have the benefit of coming after the Friday sequels, and therefore had no template to steal).

If you are a fan of 80's slashers, I strongly recommend that you put this one on your letter to Santa for next year, and be good, for goodness sake.

WEEK 84: Silent Night, Deadly Night

Year: 1984

Reviews / Author Comments due: 29/12/2012

Reason for Inclusion: Refused classification in 1987 when the distributors refused to make the required cuts, banned until 2010. 

BBFC Status: Passed uncut in 2010

More Info: Wikipedia, IMDB

DVD: Here

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Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.

Antichrist - Lisa's Review

*** BIG FAT SPOILERS ***

I start this review still a bit gaping mouthed and hope I make more sense to you than I do to myself in this review.  To be honest, I still haven't decided whether or not I liked the movie.  One thing I do know for sure, is that it is not most peoples cup of tea.  I think I got about three quarters of the way through and was on the 'not liking it' camp, but as it reached its climax, I began to appreciate a lot of aspects of the movie.

As the movie starts, it is very clear we're dealing with an arty one.  Now I'm far from a fan of this kind of movie, so I don't expect to make much in the way of sense of the storyline.  I do like how the movie is filmed though, I like the use of black and white.  I like the separation of the movie into several different titled chapters.  In places, I loved the almost musical flow of the script and the beauty of the location.  Alongside the beauty we witness, there is incomprehensible violence and nastiness, which is very difficult to understand.  It is shocking definately and had my eyebrows raised on a number of occasions, which I will go into later in the review.

As for whats going on in the movie.  As we start, the couple who we follow through the movie (they are never named) are making love (all real sex apparently.. we can see why Willem Dafoe has been cast).  As this is happening, their toddler son has climbed out of his cot, opened his baby gate and wandered to an open window.  He climbs up and falls to the ground below.  This opening scene is heartbreaking.  As a mother, I probably found it the most difficult part of the movie as its a constant fear of mine and the sheer thought of anything happening to my son, almost drives me insane.  This made me better understand the mothers actions as the movie progressed.  The way the scene is shot, in black and white and slow motion, with a beautiful piece of music in the background adds to the tragic nature of what's happening.  Its snowing outside and we can better visually see the toddler hit the ground below (although this isn't portrayed in a graphic or bloody way thankfully), we also see his stuffed toy bounce off the snow beside him.  I had a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat.

So, things start to get more than a little odd from here.  We don't ever see the couple discover their son, we immediately move to the first 'chapter' (the opening was the prologue) which is just after their sons funeral.  The wife collapses with grief.   We follow attempted treated in hospital, which her husband is not very happy with as she is not improving, so they decide to go to a cabin in the woods to try to get her better themselves as her husband is a shrink of sorts and thinks he can sure her by exposing her to what has happened.

So they take themselves to the cabin in the woods (called Eden) and what follows is some scary-assed sh*t. There is lots of sex.  She seems to get increasingly more mad (I could understand this aspect as I said earlier as I don't think I'd cope at all with the death of my son, never mind if my carelessness caused it).... however... she moves from a bit f*cked up wanting her husband to be violent towards her during sex as she seems to believe following some studying she was doing before this all happened, that women are fundamentally bad and deserve punishment.

We see all sorts of weird scenes with animals, including a deer with a dead baby hanging out of her (obviously symbolising the mother who has lost her baby), a talking fox who is clearly badly injured and a crow who just won't die no matter how many times its bashed over the head).  Just when I am starting to understand the woman and her grief, the husband finds out that she had been putting their sons shoes on the wrong feet causing him to have deformed feet.  What kind of mother does that?  This woman has obviously not been well in the head for some years, even prior to the death of her child.

As the husband makes this discovery, things begin to get eye-brow raising.  How can I describe this.... she climbs astride her husband, shouting at him the whole time that she doesn't believe he loves her, makes sure he has an erection, then wallops him in the genitals with a plank of wood!!  The pain renders him unconscious and as she lies beside him she looks over and notices he still has a raging erection!! WTF???  I'm sure that's not right??  Not only that, but an erect penis on screen???  This probably shocked me more than any other part of the movie.  I've always been told, you're not allowed to show this on screen.  She then proceeds to masturbate him and he ejaculates blood..  This raises many questions... erect penis?  ability to ejaculate?  blood?  It is a real hand job too!  Nothing prosthetic here.  I did notice, the man is blessed amidst all this confusion.

So just as we're getting over that one, she drills through his shin with one of those hand drills and puts a massive weight through his leg so he can't move.  She leaves him and goes into the forest, throwing a spanner for his leg weight under the cabin so he has no hope of getting the damn thing off. We then see him come to and manage to drag himself out of the cabin.  He hears her screaming for him and hides in a hole (which is where the weird crow thing happens).  She finds him and not content with what she has already done, she proceeds to batter him with a shovel and leave him basically buried alive!  I thought that was it for him, but apparently not.  Overcome with guilt, she drags him out and back to the cabin.

If we were cringing before, it's the ladies turn now.  For reasons best known to herself.. probably guilt, she cuts her own clitoris off with a pair of scissors???  For a woman that seems to enjoy sex and masturbation as much as she does, this was a bit of a wierd move for me.

The weird animals make another appearance, leaving me head scratching again.  He manages to find the location of the spanner, as the crow is trapped beneath the floorboards where he is lay in the cabin and he breaks through to free it.  He retrieves the spanner and frees himself (not before she has tried to kill him with the clit snipping scissors!).

At last, he's had enough and we end the movie with him strangling her (very well shot and convincing) and he burns her body outside and cabin.  As he walks away (with his injuries, i'm not sure how that was possible) and the movie , he is surrounded by loads of faceless women.  I didn't quite get what they were inferring here, but hey, I didn't understand loads of this movie.

In conclusion, I can't say 'avoid' as it is interesting in places, beautiful in others and downright cringeworthy in others, so worth a check out I would say.  Would I watch it again?  Possibly... maybe to see if i could make more sense of it second time around.  I can't quite bring myself to give it a 'Lisa Recommends' but it had its own appeal.

Antichrist - Will's Review

When the BBFC let unsimulated sex pass uncut without giving it an 18R (porn) rating; There's a good chance you're dealing with an art film.

When a continental European sounding name precedes a movie title; There's a good chance you're dealing with an art film.

If a film made this side of 1965 is filmed (or partly filmed)  in black and white; There's a good chance you're dealing with an art film.

If a movie opens with a slow motion prologue; There's a good chance you're dealing with an art film.

I'm not a fan of art films, so the fist three minuets of "Lars von Trier's: Antichrist" were enough for me to know I was in trouble...

Now, I don't mind when a film leaves something to the imagination, and I don't mind so much when an ending is a little ambiguous, letting different people take away different things from it. What I do not like is when the entire script is seemingly designed to let the viewer decide what the film is actually about.

God damn you movie; your ONE JOB is to tell me a story!

Now, I know that the story is about a couple who lost their child (a toddler, who escapes his crib, opens a baby gate, then jumps out of a window while his parents are engaged in the aforementioned slo-mo monochrome sex), and I know that She (I will refer to the mother as "Her" or "She" as she is unnamed through the movie) was at some point writing a theses about Gynocide (Anti-women stuff basically) but (we find out) gave up on it when her research suggested to her that women deserve to be underdogs. I also know that she is not dealing well with the death off her son, so He (again, her husband is without moniker), being a therapist  takes it upon himself to counsel her, so off they go to Eden (which is a woods, in which they have a summer cabin) to analyse her fears.

You might think that her "realization" (the film does seem to imply that shes wrong about this) that women are evil might have something to do with her grief issues, and you'd be right; we also find out later in the film that she has much more specific feelings of guilt.All of this, however, is pretty much an aside, to an hour and a half of interestingly shot (mostly with hand-held cameras) nonsensical pretentious bollocks... with great sound design.

Most of what follows could probably be accounted for by saying that grief had driven Her mad; but for the fact that He is prone to hearing animals speak too...

Is nature evil? is nature punishing Her for the death of her son? is there some supernatural force in the woods feeding on her guilt? We never find out.

Instead we have endless scenes of Her being (alternately) scared, violent and horny. climaxing when she knocks Him out and fastens a grindstone through his leg, having decided that he is going to leave her.

Then she mutilates herself in, one of the most graphic, nasty, realistic methods I have ever seen on film.

Which brings us to the point of this review, and indeed, the reason we chose this film; How on earth did the BBFC pass this uncut? More to the point having passed it, how can they ever justify cutting anything simulated, ever again?

There are 2 scenes in particular in this movie; one where She does something to Him, and one where She mutilates herself, which are (respectively) as bad as, and worse than ANYTHING in any of the video nastiest, some of which are still banned or cut to this day.

SPOILERS FOLLOW - BY NOW YOU HAVE THE GIST; HERE I GET SPECIFIC:

1. Having hit Him in the genitals with a plank so hard that he passes out with pain, she then Proceeds to masturbates Him (its a real had-job on a real cock) until he ejaculates blood. - the biology of this aside (for one thing, you planked my junk hard enough top knock me out, I'm guessing I'd probably loose my erection)  that's some fucked up shit.

2. (this is the kicker) In extreme close up, she spreads her vagina (which looks real enough to me) and (again, close up and looking real) cuts off her clitoris with a large pair of scissors!!!!

WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.

Don't get me wrong... I think passing it 18 was the right move; it's simulated, no-one got hurt, let adults watch what they want, buy surely this sets some kind of precedent for what we are now allowed to see in an 18 rated movie?

You'd think so, but the same people who passed this, made them removed a shot of a barbed wire wrapped penis and some poop splatters from Human Centipede 2.

This movie was selected to show how far the BBFC had come - instead, it has reminded me how uneven and imperfect the system still is.

I have marked this "Avoid" - but not because of the "gross factor", simply because it was a dull movie.

Week 83: Antichrist

Year: 2009

Reviews / Author Comments due: 22/12/2012

Reason for Inclusion: Violance, Misogyny, rape, unsimulated sex... and passed uncut by the BBFC.

BBFC Status: Passed uncut in 2009

More Info: Wikipedia, IMDB, Official site

DVD: LINK, Blu-Ray

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Feel free to use the comments section of this post to add your own reviews and thoughts about this movie.