NOTE: In honour of Halloween, We're taking a break from the DPP list.
This weeks movie was selected because (although it never made the list) it was often seized by the police during DPP raids, and is often mistakenly listed as a "Video Nasty".
*Spoilers - But probably not that many*
This has, without question, the highest body count of ANY of the movies we've watched so far for this; in fact, other than war or disaster movies, I can only think of Peter Jackson's 'Braindead' that might have more.
70 on screen kills.
On a movie that (without end credits) is only 78 minutes long!
That's almost one kill every 66 seconds!
How then, does in manage to be so very dull...
Well, in a way, the high body count IS to blaim. It's so high, and Lone Wolf's (the titular assassin) slaying of his enemies so swift, that the 'fight' scenes are generally over in one or two swipes of his katana, leaving the action scenes severally lacking.
The poor action(less) scenes are particularly problematic when you consider that, beyond the perfunctory intro narrated in annoying child-actor voice, the film has virtually no plot.
Lone wolf used to work as a killer for the Shogun, he was too good at his job, and the Shogun sent ninja (plural) to kill him - they killed his wife by mistake. he is now on the run (child in tow) with various ninja (again, plural) continually being sent to finish the job... and continually failing.
At one point, a ninja sneaks in the night, steals the kid, then uses the kid as bait, rather than just killing Lone Wolf in his sleep; what's the deal with that? I guess that killing a man in his bed isn't honourable, but I don't see the honour in kidnapping a toddler...
Aside from that, a bit on a boat, and a bizarre looks-like-it's-going-to-be-a-rape-scene-but-isn't, the film can be summed up in BASIC as follows
10 Lone Wolf pushes baby cart
20 Lone Wolf is attacked, and quickly dispatches attackers
30 Goto 10
oh, and there's occasional duologue, which is usually poor:
Structurally, it's very odd indeed. For the first half of the film, Lone Wolf is more or less aimless - Wondering around the countryside, randomly being attacked, Then he his hired to tale out an evil Lord (who just happens to be the Shoguns brother, and the "battle" between himself and the Lord's body-guards ("The Masters of Death" - easily the coolest characters in the movie), and subsequently, the Lord himself, form the movies "Climax". "Battle" and "Climax" are both in "sarcasm quotes", because they, despite the build up, are dispatched as quickly and easily as any random ninja from any part of the film! The weird structure most likely comes from the fact that Shogun Assassin, is actually a US re-edit and dub of the first two Lone Wolf and Cub movies, however this doesn't explain the lack of climax; if anything there should be two "big" fights in the movie (one for the end of each of the original films), instead the film just kind of... stops.
There's also and a bit where a woman is going to kill Lone Wolf, but doesn't because his kid plays with her tits....
Body Count: 70 (yes, 70)
Boob Count: 2
Animal Body Count: 0
Most Memorable Death: Lady Ninja make the best man-sushi!
Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.
