Coffin Baby - Will's Review

Those of you who have been paying attention will know that Coffin Baby was the killer in the "Toolbox Murders" remake, and this film was originally "TBK: The Toolbox Murders 2" (TBK standing for 'Tool Box Killer').

At some point the decision to make this a sequel was dropped (originally it was to pick up where part one left off) and it was re-tooled into a stand alone movie.

This kind of awkward production process is rarely a good sign, and indeed it's taken it's toll here.

For one thing, Coffin Baby is never given a proper origin story (if it were still a sequel, that would make a little more sense), but worse; some elements of the original plot still surface... But then go nowhere.

The rune-like symbols that Coffin Baby utilised in the first film still make an appearance in a couple of very in-your face places, but are never mentioned again, and the spate of murders that shook golden era Hollywood is referenced, but never linked to the main narrative.

The story gives us nothing in the way of motive. Coffin Baby kills a woman at the opening if the film, then captures and tortures her sister... But we never know why.

To top it all, some of the acting was really ropey too, and (especially in the first half hour) the script can be laughable; the policeman who goes to tell our protagonist that her sister is dead, basically ends up yelling at her for taking it badly, comparing having to notify next of kin with the horror of losing someone, like some bizarre "my life is shit" pissing contest!

But, for all that... I actually really enjoyed this movie!

The gore and makeup FX are great, and both benefit enormously form being glimpsed, rather than put of full show; the result is that some of the murders (particularly the first one) are wonderfully / horribly believable, and none are nearly as graphic as you will go away thinking they were.

I also really enjoyed (is that the word) the ordeal that the captive sister is put through; those scenes are everything that the god awful Captivity should have been.

Towards the end there are some quasi supernatural elements I could have lived without, but I can forgive them as its pretty clear they were all in the head of our protagonist who was just pushed too far.

Against all my better judgement, and almost in spite of myself, I'm going to go ahead and recommend this one... It's a disposable popcorn movie, but I had fun watching it; and isn't that it's only real job?

Human Centipede 2 - Full Sequence - Lisa's Review

PREVIEW WEEK:


DUE TO WEEK 63's MOVIE (REVENGE OF THE BOOGEYMAN) BEING DELAYED OVER ON OUR MAIN SITE, WE HAVE DECIDED TO KICK OFF "BEYOND NASTY" EARLY WITH A SPECIAL PREVIEW. NORMAL SERVICE WILL RESUME OVER ON VideoNastyAWeek.co.uk UNTIL DECEMBER, WHEN BeyondNasty.co.uk WILL TAKE OVER FULL-TIME.



*** SPOILERS ***

This is a movie that a lot of people will miss, as in my humble opinion, the first offering - Human Centipede - First Sequence, is so monumentally dull, so why on earth would you want to watch the second installment?  This movie however is completely different.  Ok, so it has the similar premis of the creation of a Human Centipede, but the acting, the way it is shot and the level of violence and nastiness in this waaaay surpasses the original.


I do think however its a movie you'll either really like or hate.  I watched it with my husband who thought it was one of the worst things he'd ever seen, however I really enjoyed it.  I liked the way it made me feel creeped out and disgusted all the way through.  I liked how it made me wrinkle my nose over and over.  I also loved the fact I was repelled so vehemently by the movies lead, Martin.  It has an unsettling air all the way through, achieved both by the fantastic portrayal of our lead character and the fact it is in Black and White.  The movie was originally shot in colour and later transferred, a great move.  The blood  looks fantastic and it gives the movie a great ominous feel.

So to the premis?  Martin is a very sad, sorry little man, with what can only be described as a life that most people would struggle to tolerate .  He is middle-aged, short and fat and is truely one of the oddest looking human beings I have ever seen.  He lives with his completely crazy and suicidal mother who hates him and makes this very clear.  She blames him for the imprisonment of her husband (Martins father) who abused Martin as a child.  He was also abused by his family doctor, a very creepy, nasty character.  That perhaps will give some kind of indication of what we are working with.   Martin seemed to have some kind of learning difficulty or slow nature to me.  I could be wrong in that assumption, but he didn't seem the full shilling.  A little more than a bit odd.

Martin, with everything he has to contend with is obviously a very mixed up individual.  He is obsessed with the first Centipede movie (First Sequence) and has put together a very detailed scrapbook on the subject and keeps a pet centipede which he seems to love above everything else.

The movie follows Martin abducting several people at his workplace (conveniently a secluded carpark), cracking them over the head rather viciously and bringing them to a warehouse he has aquired by killing its owner.  He ends up with 12 victims, rather more than the original 3 in the first movie.  Amongst the victims are the actress from the original movie and a heavilly pregnant woman.

We watch Martin setting to assembling his greatest creation - A 12 person Human Centipede.  Obviously the first movie contained surgical precision and everything was neat and tidy.  Martin is far from precise.  He cuts the tendons in all of the victims knees to prevent them from running off and knocks their teeth out with a hammer.  This part is completely cringeworthy and very well done.  Great effects and noises, made me wince  over and over.  He cuts into the backsides of all the victims with dirty knives and staples and duct tapes them to the mouths of the next person in the line.   I just realised I am writing this assuming anyone reading has watched the first movie and knows what the human centipede is... for anyone who doesn't, this picture should hopefully shed some light.

This is achieved by some clever scalpel work and stitching the anus of the first victim to the mouth of the second and so on...  As I said, Martin had no aspect of surgical precision about his attempts, which made the process all the more horrific.

Two individuals die in the preparation section, so Martin ends up with a 10 person centipede with the actress from the original movie at the front.  He sets to force feeding her soup with a funnel and then injecting all the victims with laxatives forcing them all to expel the contents of their bowels into the mouths of the person behind them.  Martin is ecstatic at the spectacle but ends up vomiting from the stench of the excrement.  He also seems quite excited by it all and is running about in rather disgusting underwear with just a lab-coat on top.  In one of the strangest sexual perversions I've ever seen, he wraps 'himself' in barbed wire and rapes the woman at the back of the centipede.  A very uncomfortable scene.

While all this is going on, one of the victims who we presumed dead from before the centipede was put together (the pregnant woman) revives and makes her escape to a car outside, but the horror of the experience has brought on labour and she gives birth in the drivers seat.  The newborn drops to the floor and as she slams her foot on the accelerator, she crushes the babys head.  I did feel quite disturbed by that, but then that's an odd statement from a person who has just sat and watched what came before.  I just feel maybe that bit wasn't needed, but it certainly did add another level of depravity.

While Martin is outside trying to capture the pregnant woman (who got away incidentally... wonder will the child-killing cow be in the 3rd one?), the centipede has managed to split into 2 pieces.  Martin sets about killing them all with a gun.  He moves onto slitting their throats when he runs out of ammunition, so they all knew what was coming.. horrid!   He seems unsure about killing the actress at the front of the chain.  His hesitation would be of consequence with a piece of uncharacteristic quick thinking from the actress as she uses the funnel Martin force fed her with to send his pet centipede up his backside (he had it with him in a jar which broke).  Although in agony, Martin manages to stab her in the face before he leaves.

Unbelievably the movie ends with Martin sat back in his little booth at work watching the first 'Human Centipede' movie looking as if nothing has happened.  We're left to our own thoughts and wondering whether or not it actually happened.  I'm going with, no.  It was just a fantasy.

Wierd, disturbing little movie, but well worth a watch if you like sick movies.  Gets a recommended from me!

Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence - Will's Review

PREVIEW WEEK:


DUE TO WEEK 63's MOVIE (REVENGE OF THE BOOGEYMAN) BEING DELAYED OVER ON OUR MAIN SITE, WE HAVE DECIDED TO KICK OFF "BEYOND NASTY" EARLY WITH A SPECIAL PREVIEW. NORMAL SERVICE WILL RESUME OVER ON VideoNastyAWeek.co.uk UNTIL DECEMBER, WHEN BeyondNasty.co.uk WILL TAKE OVER FULL-TIME.

I'm not a fan of the first Human Centipede, not for any taste reasons (obviously - look at the sites I write for) but because I found it to be very dull - sure, it had a gross / funny / interesting central concept, but once you get there, there isn't much else for the movie top do / say.

That said, the second the BBFC said that they were refusing it classification outright (A possibly the later reversed after over 2 mins of cuts) I knew that I HAD to see it (and that it HAD to be the first review on VNAW's sister site).

I'm pleased to announce that this is not only a much more depraved movie than the original, It's also a much better one - everything from the story, to the acting, to the cinematography is a vast improvement. I do feel that the decision to film in black and white (or rather, to release  in B&W - the movie was filmed in colour then converted) was a little pretentious, but that said, it may have been impossible to stomach in colour!

This time around, the movie uses the old trick of being set in "our world" - the first 'Human Centipede' was only a movie, and our (for want of a better word) 'hero' (Martin) is obsessed with it; watching it several times a day, keeping a scrap-book on it, even owning a real pet centipede.

Of course, his real dream is to build a real "Human Centipede" - Not with 3 segments (like Dr Heiter); but with 12 (oh, and to wrap his penis in barbed wire and have sex with said centipede).

Unfortunately for his 12 victims (including Ashlynn Yennie, 'Jenny' from the first movie, here playing herself), he is no surgeon. Where Heiter had Aesthetic, an operating room, and surgical experience and know-how, Martin has a hammer to the back of the head, A grubby warehouse, gaffer tape and a stapler!

In the midst of all the blood snot and shit, one scene did make me laugh out loud - I'll not spoil it; but look out for Martin taking a second out of his day to interact with the toddler he orphaned...

As is usually the case, I'd recommend that you go for the uncut version, although it does appear to be missing one thing that the cut version has - apparently, following the administration of some powerful laxatives, Director Tom Six adds a "splash" of colour (think along the lines of a scatological version the red coat from Schindler's List). I watched the appropriate part 3 times, but I never spotted it :(

FUN FACT: The role of Martin was originally a speaking part, but actor Laurence R. Harvey kept forgetting to speak during rehearsal - The director liked it so much he edited the script and took all of Martin's dialogue out.

BEST MOMENT: Martin 'talking' to the toddler

WORST MOMENT: Ambiguous ending.