The Blair Witch Project - Will's Review

I've only seen this movie once before; I saw it at the cinema right in the middle of all the hype.

In case you don't remember, back in 1999 Blair Witch was reviewed as "the scariest film ever", in its initial US run some clever marketing had people questioning if it was real, and even after the gig was up on the reality front, people were still running from cinemas to throw up, or being dragged out having fainted. There was outcry in the national press when the BBFC gave this supposedly terrifying special a 15 rating. Thanks mostly to its incredibly low budget it quickly became (proportionately) the most profitable film of all time, and blew the "found footage" genre wide open, launching a wave of movies that continues to this day. It's fair to say that without Blair Witch there would be no [rec.], no Paranormal Activity parts one through 27, no V/H/S, and no Cloverfield.

And it bored me shitless. I wasn't at all surprised to learn that the fainting and sickness was mostly due to motion sickness, brought on by the hand-held camera work. 

Perhaps the hype had been too much, maybe if I'd gone in with lower expectations I'd have enjoyed it more?

Nope. 

I love the idea of the movie - there was no script, the actors were genuinely camped out with cameras and no other contact; the only direction was a series of GPS coordinates the actors used as checkpoints, so they could stumble upon thing the crew had set up. I really want to like this move. 

But I can't; it's infuriating! 

Watching adults get terrified by small piles of rocks is just ridiculous, and as far as being "lost" in the forest goes...

 THERE'S A FUCKING RIVER YOU MORONS!!! FOLLOW IT! 

IT HAS TO COME OUT SOMEWHERE - THAT'S HOW RIVERS WORK!!!

To me, this movie is half an hour of semi-interesting set-up, followed by an hour of me being annoyed at idiots while praying for something to happen, and literally nothing else.