Bride of Frankenstein - Lisa's Review

I must be one of the few people who hadn't seen this weeks movie in its entirety before.  I have seen clips and probably so many, there wasn't much of the movie I hadn't seen.

It receives critical acclaim, everyone seems to love it.  What did I think?  Mmmmm meh.....  I didn't dislike it, but I wouldn't go mad about it.  I kinda get like that about movies everyone else seems to love, I just can't be arsed getting all excited about.  Star Wars, Star Trek..... Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

I haven't actually seen the predecessor, but since I know the basic story of Frankenstein and have seen other versions, I don't think I was missing much back story.

What I would say I did like about the movie were the characters of Praetorious, The Monster and The Bride of Frankenstein.  Its interesting how iconic the bride is when she is in the movie for such a short period of time and doesn't even speak beyond a series of grunts and hisses.  I was shocked how little she is actually in it.

I won't go into a big description about what this movie is about as I very much doubt anyone hasn't seen it and I've got the headache from hell.

Basically Henry Frankenstein has realised the error of his ways in creating The Monster in the first movie, but  when he discovers the monster is not in actual fact dead, as everyone believes, he is cajoled into helping his former mentor, the mad Dr Praetorious in creating a woman for him. The movie is about little more than that. Some people are killed by the monster, we are shown he has the potential for love and learning with his short friendship with a blind man and we follow Henrys struggle with his conscious in what he's doing versus his scientific mind.

While the characters and makeup are great, its just not a movie I think I would watch again.  I can understand why so many people love it.  It has an iconic feel about it.  You can watch it and realise straight away what scenes would be the stand-out ones.  Its just not my kind of movie.

If you've reached adulthood without seeing this movie, there's probably a reason.  If you're the kind of person who would love this movie... you'll have seen it already.

The Living Dead at the Manchester Morgue - Will's Review

If you've ever wished that zombie movies would give a better explanation as to WHY the dead have risen, you should check out this week's movie; there's a good chance it'll change your mind.

What we have here, is an average, run of the mill zombie movie; neither bad enough to offend the senses, nor good enough to get excited about. In fact, the only things that stood out to me we're the asshattedness of the male lead, and the 'science' of the zombies.

Flesh for Frankentein - Lisa's Review

*** SPOILERS ***

I'm hoping I can remember enough about this movie to so it justice with my review. I say do it justice, but I can see most people around my house ready to kick my rather ample posterior after having watched this one on my recommendation. I stand stubbornly forth though and state, 'I enjoyed this movie'. Why did I enjoy it? Well.....

For starters, I don't think Flesh for Frankenstein is to be taken very seriously. Although there are some very dark and disturbing scenes within the movie (copulation with a ladies innards being one), everything seems to be very tongue in cheek.

Our premis here is the basic Frankenstein idea of a mad scientist who creates a life. In this case, our scientist (who for the record is married to his nympho sister and has 2 kids, none of which he seems to have very much time for) is attempting to create the perfect male and female beings to start a master race with him as the führer. (see what I did there?...)

He is played by a new crush of mine, Udo Kier. We have seen him before in Exposé. Its a shame he's old now, but hey he's well worth a watch in this. The eyes are hypnotic! Hell, he even made humping his female creations innards seem somewhat appealing.

So where was I? In our movie, we arrive as the female has been fully created (we could have done with bigger boobs in my humble opinion, but hey ho). Our male is just missing a head. The scientist dictates that the owner must be a bit of a perv (kind of a Quagmire if you will) and he seems a bit obsessed with it having the perfect nose? Unfortunately as he sets out to aquire this head with his faithful assistant (everything about the assistant is hilarious, from his facial expressions, to the way he moves, to the lines he delivers), they mistake a young man who seems to have no interest in sex whatsoever (and in fact wants to be a monk) for a sexual pervert as he is seen coming out of a brothel. In fact he is only in there as his best friend (who just so happens to be a sexual pervert) is desperate to convince him that a religious, sex free life is not the way to go. He convinces him to try sex just once.

The actual beheading scene is well worth a belly laugh, as is the severed head when it has left his body... it is well deserving of a place in the crap 'chamber of horrors' I visited in Blackpool as a kid. Another belly laugh was had when the 2 of them put the completed male and female together later in the movie and on constant demands of her to kiss her male counterpart, they stare at his genitals, wondering why there is no movement. Poor bugger.

The story in this movie is just plain weird. The scientists horny wife hires the friend of our frigid wannabe monk as her 'man servant' - I'll let you guess what she uses him for. He sees his friend (or should I say his friends head) behaving rather oddly and starts an investigation into whats happening.

After more weird happenings, the sex with a surgical wound scene and lots of really crap sex scenes (that horny guy REALLY needs to learn how to kiss) we culminate in the female creation being destroyed after the assistant tries to replicate his masters sexual prowess, The male creation strangles the assistant and then impales the mad scientist on a spear-like implement, lancing his liver on the end in the process (you can see the bits made for 3D). Our male creation ignores his friends pleas and feels he is better off dead and so kills himself.

We end the movie with the man servant being the only one left hanging above this whole mess. The scientists children walk into the room and pick up a scalpel each and start to turn the winch he's attached to. You're left to make your own mind up as to whether they are going to cut him down and rescue him or continue their dads work. Given the opening credits of the movie where they cut the heads off their toys and sew them onto different toys, I go with continue their fathers work.

Wierd movie, funny movie but one I have to admit I did enjoy. Will deffo seek out the movie where Udo plays the count!

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