Let's Scare Jessica to Death - Will's Review

Three alternative types (we know they are alternative types) move from New York into a house in the country. Two of them are a couple, Jessica and Duncan , who bought the house, while the third, Woody, is a friend of theirs, who will likely be moving on once the couple are settled.

Upon arrival at their new property, they find that they have a squatter, Emily. You might expect tensions to flair at this point, but you'd be wrong! Instead the squatter politely offers to get her things and leave, and our trio insists that she stays awhile!

We learn that Jessica is not long out of a mental Heath facility, and she soon starts hearing voices calling to her and seeing a body in the lake adjoining the property... A body that looks not unlike Emily and only seems to appear when the freeloader has made an excuse to leave for a bit... Mmmmmm.

And so, between the looky-likey ghosts, and the title, you'd be forgiven for assuming that the whole thing is a hoax, intended to drive the already unstable Jessica over the edge... Perhaps her friends from New York are in on it? Maybe even the local antique dealer, himself full of spooky stories and recently moved from New York himself?

SPOILERS FOLLOW

'Fraid not; that would have been a much more interesting movie, albeit one spoiled by the title... Nope, it seems like the title here is a deliberate mislead, having nothing to do with the plot. What's actually happening is.... I have no idea.

SQUATTER seems to be the only woman in town, and might possibly be some kind of vampire? Maybe? Certainly all of the men in town have strange scars, mostly in the neck, and she does go out of her way to seduce both of Jessica's companions and maybe bites one of them?

In short, it's a mess. I dig ambiguity in movies when it's done well (Lisa and I both stuck the "recommended" tag on 'The Beyond') but here it isn't, seeming to be ambiguity for its own sake, leaving us with a movie that's seemingly far less clever than it thinks it is.

The opening and closing narration are identical, with the movie seemingly being told in flash back, but both are set at entirely different times of day.

Maybe the idea was to suggest that none of it is real, instead played out in Jessica's troubled mind? If that's the case, it could certainly have been done better - maybe with the closing narration back in the facility.

I'd like to say that the whole thing was just badly made, a thrown-together accidental mess; but I can't help but get the impression that it was made this way quite deliberately, maybe in the hope that fans of film students would be able to spend hours pouring over theories. Sadly it wasn't remotely well done enough that I can imagine anyone doing this.

These "100 best horror movies" are proving to be disappointing.

Avoid.