[REC] - Lisa's Review

It's getting good climbing the Time Out 100 best horrors list... for one thing the movies keep getting better.  It's definately been more positive than negative of late and the same is the case for this weeks movie - [REC].

Weird title I hear you say, and yes, it is.  I'm sure it's something we all recognise as the abbreviation for 'Record'.  The title also has the little red circle which also denotes 'recording'.  As the movie is a 'found footage' movie taken on a video camera by a Spanish TV crew, the title makes sense.  The found footage in question is from the Spanish reality TV show 'While you were sleeping', which tasks itself with following people who make their living while the rest of the world are sleeping.  This movie is taken as the crew follow a Barcelona fire crew; pretty young presenter Ángela (Manuela Velasco) and camera man Pablo (Pablo Rosso).

The Devils Backbone - Lisa's Review

This weeks movie is another Guillermo del Toro movie to find a place in this list.  From the start, let me make it clear, I am a big fan of his work.  I adore the spanish language, I love the almost poetic nature of his scripts and the beautiful cinematography that always comes from Guillermos movies.  This movie is no different in this respect.

The movie is set during the Spanish Civil war in a remote boys orphanage run by the very strong characters of Dr Casares and Carmen who are married.  They also employ a caretaker (Jacinto) and a couple of teachers, including Conchita who is involved with Jacinto.  As I come to expect of Del Toros movies, the depth of the characters is as strong as usual, as is their scrutiny.  The orphanage is a poor one, but it has hidden gold bullion, which is used to back the Republicans.  Our story starts off following a young boy, Carlos, being dropped off at the Orphanage (unbeknown to him) by his tutor.  It really tugged on the old maternal heart strings when Carlos, upon realizing he's been left behind, runs desperately after his tutors car to no avail.  The emotional way this is played out is typical of Guillermo del Toros work.

The movie follows Carlos settling into the Orphanage and finding his feet amongst existing groups of boys and the ever present bully, Jaime.  There is much talk amongst the boys of a ghost within the grounds.  They refer to it as 'The one who sighs' and everyone seems to be terrified of it.  The one who sighs appeared the same day as one of the boys, Santi, disappeared, causing all kinds of speculation within the orphanage as to what happened to Santi.  Also on the same day that Santi disappeared, a large bomb fell into the yard and remains (supposedly diffused) large and imposing, stuck into the ground.

There are obviously all kinds of ways we could be taken during this movie.  This is one thing I love about Guillermo del Toro, he is far from predictable.  His movies are always a surprise and are always thought provoking, deep and engaging.  This one is no different.  I won't go into any more detail about the movie as if you haven't watched it, DO!! It's obviously sub-titled as it's spanish, but please don't let that put you off.  People who have problems with sub-titled movies are missing out on a whole world (literally) of amazing movies.

I stick a big, fat recommended on the arse of this movie.  Go forth and watch it immediately!  I will leave you with a beautiful quote from the movie:

"What is a ghost?  A tragedy condemned to repeat itself time and again?  An instant of pain, perhaps.  Something dead which still seems to be alive.  An emotion suspended in time.  Like a blurred photograph.  Like an insect trapped in amber."

Night of the Bloody Apes - Lisa's Review

*** SPOILERS ***

I read the title of this one and thought 'oh gawd, here we go.  How can this possibly be any good?'.  I slightly shame myself however to admit that I enjoyed this one, BUT for all the wrong reasons.  For me, this one was a 'So bad its good' movie.  I found myself tittering all the way through.  Just when you were getting over the humor of the last cheesy line, terrible peace of acting, awful effect or desperately flawed storyline, lo and behold, something else happens to amuse you!

Bloody Moon - Lisa's Review

*** CONTAINS SPOILERS ***

This movie is IMHO one of the biggest wastes of anyones time who puts it on. I'm a stickler for doing things when I say I'm going to and hey I want to be able to say I have seen all the movies on this list in their entirety but jesus christ! I wish I could have switched this one off before the end!

It reminds me that the 80's is well and truely the decade that taste forgot. Everything here is bloody awful! The hair, the clothes, the music.... well just everything.

We start this movie being introduced to Miguel, a young man at the centre of this movie with a facial disfigurement (which looks like a child had has fun with some play putty). He attends a masquerade ball, convenient that with his face an' all. I looked more like a tacky 80's pool part to me, but there you go....

He ends up having sex with a young lady who has no idea who he is... when she finds out, she is less than enamoured to continue. Not happy with this he stabs her to death with a pair of scissors. The blood is crap, the special effects are crap.

The movie continues by Miguel being institutionalised and then released into the care of his sister Manuela (who he is having an incestuous relationship with). They travel home on the train and Miguel sets eyes on Angela, who he quickly becomes obsessed with and follows everywhere.

We see a cringeworthy scene with Miguel and his sister almost getting it on, where she stops and says its wrong and she's his sister. Bit late for that now lovey! She utters the immortal line "If only we could get rid of everyone"... cue the motive for the rest of the movie. Simple really.

Manuela runs a language school with her grumpy arsed Aunt Maria Contessa which is conveniently full of nubile, young, pretty, perfect breasted females (there are also a few young arrogant men for good measure to patronise the woman who tried to convince everyone else about the murderer).

We have several shit death scenes with bad makeup. Firstly we lose old grumpy auntie (I think with a burning torch), A knife through the boob (well they were getting them out an awful lot, it was bound to happen) a garotting type pincher thingy, a circular saw (that was monumentally awful when the actress turned into a very bad mannequin).

Of course we're meant to blame all this carnage on poor old mental pervert Miguel, but in actual fact, Manuela and her real life boyfriend are to blame (oh quelle surprise!!) Unfortunately as they discuss their devilish plans, everything they have done and as she expresses her disgust for Miguels face, he overhears everything from the door.

Manuela then in her greed to inherit her aunts estate, turns on her stupid-arsed donkey-boy boyfriend, who did all the killings for her and tells him to sod off.

Miguel then runs upstairs where Angela (the only survivor) is resting and jumps on top of her expressing his love. She stabs him through the neck with what looks like a poker and that's that then!!! She dashes downstairs to see Manuela fighting with her boyfriend on the floor about who is getting what and hot foots it into a lounge where she see's auntie dearests burnt remains on a seat. Rather the shock when she's asking for help really....

As Manuela's boyfriend tries to kill Angela, Manuela rushes in and kills him with hedge trimmers!!! *yawn* but DU-DU-DUUUUUHHHH Miguel appears (complete with poker still through his neck - yup he's still alive!) and takes out his sister Manuela, by choking.....

Cue good guy turnng up with police to save Angela. Miguel dies on floor beside Manuela... THE END!! Complete pile of bollocks!!!

Too poor to score. I feel the worst one yet.

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