Showing posts with label Retard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Retard. Show all posts

Saturday, 27 October 2012

SHOCKTOBER SPECIAL: I Spit on Your Grave (2010) - Will's Review

Reviewed (spoiler free) in full over on my solo blog, as per last week this article will focus on the differences between the 1978 and 2010 version, and therefore contain spoilers for both (although I'll try and keep the 2010 spoilers to a minimum).



Characters:
Jennifer is less well-rounded as a character this time, simply because we spend less time with her.
Mathew, the retarded 'gang' member, is a lot more believable that in the original; between being much better acted and losing the 'trailer park boys' glasses he is much less of a cartoon character.
With the exception of the new attacker (this time we are given the 5 that the original's tag-line promised, rather than the 4 it delivered) the rest of the gang are, in contrast to Matthew  more caricatured this time out; from the moment we meet them they are obviously bad news.
2 of the attackers have families this time, although one of the families actually has a role i the movie this time.

The attack:
The attack is much shorter this time: Jennifer passes out and the camera fades to black part way through; but of the attack we do see there is a lot more psychological abuse this time and a fair but less physical violence, the sexual assaults seem as bad as they ever did - we just don't see as much of it.

Whether this is a good thing is debatable; it does rob the film of some of its predecessors 'power' but it also means we don't have to watch a woman getting raped for as long; which certainly helps the film be a little easier to watch (again, whether 'easier to watch' is a good thing, is open to debate).

Matthew is even less willing to take part (at least initially), requiring a threat on Jennifer's life at the hands of on of the other guys before he's willing to have sex with her

This time the plan isn't quite so stupid; the attackers do not rely on Matthew to go back and kill her.

The Aftermath:
Again, we see less (in fact none) of Jennifer's effort to piece herself back together, although we do learn some of it through the things she says in the final act; arguably the experience in the 2010 version has left her even more damaged than her 1978 counterpart.

The Revenge:
Is where the movie deviates most - this time none of the men die of stupidity (1978 movie; I still haven't forgiven you for the guy who grabbed the propeller of the motor boat) and Jennifer takes her time to make sure that each man gets a death they deserve - even using a little poetic justice to customize each kill; the specific tortures she devices for each man mirror or reference their part in the attack - a man who held her face underwater is suspended over a bath, a man who analy rapes her wakes up with a shotgun up... you get the idea.

Tone / Overall:
The poetic nature of the kills, as well as the semi-elaborate setups of them, provide plenty of "punch the air" type moments.

You may recall that I criticised the Last House Remake for having just one of these at the end - but here it works; mainly because it isn't just one, that stands out as being inconsistent with the tone, but becomes the point of the movie.

Although the rape is still horrific, and not-for-kicks, it is shorter, and therefore easier to bear.

Between the shorter attack sequence and the more crowd-pleasing deaths (not to mention that the ordering of the kills is much improved - the most vile offender last this time) this movie is much easier to watch than the original; rape sequence notwithstanding  this one is even a 'fun' movie in its own way. This I think is both its strength and its weakness; It fails as an important film, but makes a much better movie than the original.

I had fun watching it, and it did not eroricise rape, So I'm going to go ahead and recommend it. I'm going to guess Lisa has not (I didn't check yet), but we shall see...


Counts:
Body Count: 6
Boob Count: 1 pair
Animal Body count: 6 (3 Birds, 2 fish and a rat - none killed on screen)
Most memorable Death: Eye Eye!


Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the main post for this movie.

Saturday, 9 July 2011

Blood Rites - Will's Review.

Wow.


Not a good "Wow", but "Wow" never the less...


I'm glad I decided against a star-rating system for my reviews here, because I would have given "The Beast In Heat" Zero, and now I'd be stuck as to how to grade this lower... In fact; I'm loath to give it a full review, as I resent putting more effort into the movie than the film-makers did!

In my notes I've written "WHEN THE FUCK IS THIS MOVIE SET?" it looks like a bad knockoff of a BBC costume drama, but the language used seems (at times at least) to be modern (by which I mean 70's).


The opening scene features a couple exploring a private (we are told, uninhabited) island; how they got there and why we do not know, but it isn't long before the guy decides to ditch his girlfreind where she is, and go explore an overgrown area - brilliently, 28 years before Scream's Randy burned the Cliché into the public conscious, our douchbag lead actor says "I'll be right back".

He isn't.

Instead he's murdered... I think.

Actually  I'm sure he's murdered, but what, specifically, goes down remains a mystery - The camera seems to have been passed to an epileptic monkey who just ate a fitsfull of class B narcotics, and (dispite rewinding and re-watching TWICE) I have no idea how, or by who (Wikipedia says that it was Colin - the retarded servant we will meet later in the film, but I'm quite sure it wasn't); whoever it was, they kill his lady friend too, and the pair of them are never mentioned again.

We are then introduced to three sisters, and their respective husbands, each of which have received a letter from Grandpa from 'The Texas Chain Saw Massacre' Lawyer Dobbs, the doddery old git in charge of their late Fathers' estate.


"Now don't you cry. Grandpa is the best. This won't hurt a bit..."
Sorry, wrong move.

It seems Daddy dearest didn't want his will to be read until all 3 girls were "Married and settled down" (even the youngest has been married 3 years at this point), an that isn't even the oddest thing in the will; It turns out he hated their mother, who he paints as a total bitch, and wants their old family home to see "3 nights of marital bliss" and so his vast fortune isn't to be split until the couples have spent 3 nights in "sexual harmony" there, they are told that the boat (the house is on the island from the opening of the film) Will collect them in the morning. It is also through Lawyer Exposition Dobbs that we learn what little we know of the Girls' Father - his fortune came from a company he ran in South America (I forget doing what but, like much of the film, it's unimportant) and the Girls barely ever met him - he returned home just 5 times, and conceived the girls on 3 of those 5 visits.

Oh, and the House's Staff will be waiting for them... Yes, like just like "The Beyond" this recently-inherited (but stood empty for years) house comes with staff who have had very little to do for the last however many years - Unlike the beyond's layabout house-staff though, sibling trio Martha, Hatty, who look like nothing so much as pantomime "Ugly sisters",  and their retarded hunchback brother Colin have at least been keeping the place clean and warm.

Let's make her stay behind and clean, while we 
go to the ball!

Predictably enough, once they arrive, people start dying - and they're all very casual about it; indeed, after the 3rd murder is descovered (One of the sisters'  heads finds its way under a serving trivet at dinner time) the only remaining husband barks at his wife to "for god's sake stop crying".

The whole time we are clearly supposed to think that Colin is the murderer, but anyone who has ver seen a movie before will know that this isn't the case if only becauise of how hard the film tries to convince us it is!

Eventually  film slowly (and clumsily) lurches to a ludicrous "twist" ending which is, in true slasher / who dunnit tradition, explained by the killer, shorty before they are dispatched, leaving no proof of what went on. Also, the killers plan makes no sense; it relies on them using a fact no-one on earth but themselves knows about in order to enlist themselves as sole hair to the house and estate!

One of the husbands has an obnoxious rich brother (who may me sexually attracted to him), another of the husbands tries to rape his wife, one of the sisters is said to be psychic, and there is a trunk in the attic which is somehow connected to the inheritance - like the opening murders all of these things are introduced, and never mentioned again!

I've had a quick peek a a draft of Lisa's review, and she's gone though the plot in some detail - I suggest you give it a look if you want to know more about this dreadful, dreadful movie! but for the love of all that's unholy, do not waste your time tracking down a copy and watching it, even if you want to watch all 72 'nasties' just skip this one and lie about it - I wish I had!

Body Count: 9
Animal Body Count: 1
Boob Count: 2 pairs
Most Memorable Death: Dinner is served!

Who do I write to for my time back?

Please use the comments bellow only to comment on this post - to write your own review, please comment on the "Reader Reviews" post for this movie.